It's easy to look at love and and admire it. You'd dreamt about it your whole life, but nothing could have prepared you for the side effects of it, for the fragility of breaking and for the angst of falling.
Around you, even when you hadn't noticed...
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You pulled away almost as soon as you could escape your senses, all of the emotions that sprawled out of you like pandoras box replacing reality with some twisted version of it.
You looked at Jimin dead in the eyes, shock and dissappointment visible in them. ''You were right, I really don't know you''.
Jimin's heart sunk as much as yours did, failing him in the same way he had just failed you, and himself. He had failed himself too.
You pulled your bag from the chair violently, swinging it over your shoulder as you proceeded to walk out of the café. You came to a halt just a few steps away from the table, from Jimin who was now standing. “And just incase I didn't make it clear enough, no, I won't be yours. Atleast not right now, not after that”.
“Sooyun-”.
You stopped him, placing your palm open into the air. “You had your chance to talk”.
You spun around on your heel, leaving Jimin with a devastating stare, a state of disbilief, not knowing what to do at that moment. He knew what he'd done. He was aware that he was an asshole if anything, but he wasn't one with a golden tongue. He couldn't speak his heart out, so he tried to act his feelings out, but going back, it wasn't the time for that.
Had you created a scene? No, not really. People were too caught up in their own matters to pay attention to any turbid duo that chose to forward their contained anger, but Jimin standing there still and frozen was starting to catch other's attention as they shot him weird stares. Uncomfortable as he was, he sat down. The only option he could think of was to leave you at your peace for a while, and then maybe you would come to him.
Jimin had lost himself somewhere on the way. This wasn't who he was. Was is it the sudden chaos his life had become that churned upon him? Was it the madness of - what could soon turn out to be-love? He wasn't sure, and it didn't really matter.
He finished up the remain of his coffee, standing up with horrible posture, as if his heart was pulling him down, and a head full of nonsense and unhealthy thoughts. He walked over to the counter, pulling out his wallet, paying and exiting the store with an unexplained urgency. The sooner he could get rid of that memory, the better.
The chill air hit his face the same way a brick wall would, strong and startling, but once he'd spent a good few minutes outside, it felt like a breath of fresh air. He inhaled, closing his eyes, relaxing his wavering heart.
He knew what he needed; to lose control, and the only sober way to achieve that; was dance.
He picked his pace up, practically jogging to the studio, close to getting hit by a car or hitting someone too many times now.
“Hey Park, long time no see” Yongbae, who was stretching, greeted him as soon as he entered.
He ignore him at first, planning not not reply, but thinking about it, a long time had actually passed, atleast for Jimin. He left his bag in the changing room, stripping himself out of his clothes and getting into some dance-appropriate attire he kept in his locker.
“Well, you'll be seeing a whole lot more of me”.
Yongbae smiled at his reply. It was a warm smile, replacing any welcoming word he might've said.
As soon as he started stretching, practicing a few spins and turns, Jimin heard a bunch of loud screams echo in the room. He looked up when his feet landed on the floor to see his five favourite boys–––not including his best friends–––walk in, coversing loudly about something incoherant with their large bags strapped around their shoulders. Jimin stood still, arms crossed behind his back and waiting for them to see him.
Reggie, his half American friend, had seen him first, but Hoseok was the one to start running towards him to engulf him in a bro hug, following by the rest of them who ran towards Jimin with cheers and chants. Jimin smiled. It felt nice to be back after so long.
“How come you're all here at the same time? Are you practicing something?” Jimin asked, curious as to what was going on. Usually, most of the dancers would come to practice at seperate hours, not including them meeting other people that were there prior by coincidence.
Jiho glanced over at his partners suspiciously. “Well...” He slurred, a guilty expression appearing on his harsh face. “There's actually this competition uptown that we're practicing for...”.
“We were going to tell you” Juwon cut in. “You just hadn't shown up for so long, we didn't know what to do about it”.
Jimin felt an unfamiliar sadness overcome him; he had missed an opportunity, just like that. He had started to lose sight of what was important and what trivial, and thinking back to him relinguishing himself, the subject was alot deeper than he had first calculated. He had judged too fast when thinking there was nothing that could exacerbate his prefaced melancholy.
Reggie smirked, a new glow in his eyes. “We all know that Jimin would make a great asset to the team guys”. He announced, his voice determined and strong.
Hoseok nodded. “It might just not be too late yet. We still have a couple of weeks to prepare”.
Juwon and Hoseok exchanged a knowing glance.
“You know what, concider the subject pending. I'll speak to the dude in the desks, he'll make it happen under my terms”.
Jimin felt more restrained at the sound of his words, and his lips trembled up into a curve, his feeling of distraught subsiding as he obtained a more cheerful aura. He was still confused, confounded, but he remained contented by the fact that these people cared about him, and things were trying to get better.
He ran a hand through his hair. “huh, good luck speaking to Seojoon about that. He's been as stubborn as a rock lately”.
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Okay, so I'm like--there's no excuse for how long it has taken for me to upload this. I just got caught up in everything. Hopefully, but doubtedly, things will get their own rythm again. Thanks for still reading if you are, I apologize for the wait and I hope you enjoyed.
Please keep yourselves healthy. Hydrate, get a good night's sleep, and remember; you are doing so great, I am so proud of you and you can get through anything if you put your mind to it.
