America in catastrophe

Chapter 21

The skin off the back of my neck is blistered and peeling.

The Georgia sun is is unbearable, I used to think we are familiar with its brutal glare; but after four days stumbling down the highway; I'm burnt, I'm sweaty, I'm bleeding and I can't breathe.

By tomorrow we should be crawling into Atlanta, by tonight we'll all be dead in a ditch.

Carl joined me at some point along the Barren road, one hand against my back, our hips bumping every so often as I stumble.

My right ankle is sorta just- dragging- I can't hold it up anymore. My toes are bloody, and I think there's gravel stuck between my toes. I can't really tell. I can't even feel it anymore. The first few times I forgot and it felt like I got shot.

But Carl- I look over to him, he's taller now. Taller than me. His dark hair almost as long a Daryls tucked under his hat. I still remember when Rick brought him to the farm. He was so small, tucked into Ricks chest.

"What?"

I blink up at Carl, I've been staring. Sweat dribbles down his temple, catching in the soft wrinkles that he's too young to have.

"When did you grow up?" I ask quietly. My throat still feels like I've swallowed nails.

"What do you mean?" He cocks a half smile, glancing towards Sasha and Judith.

I nod towards Judith, asleep in Sasha's arms. "You used to be so small." I slow a little as I trip over loose gravel. "Do you remember the first time I watched you?"

"No?" He shakes dark hair over his face.

I laugh a bit. "It was just after the farm, when we were moving from house to house, sometimes we slept in the cars. You climbed into the truck bed, you were supposed to be asleep, and a firefly landed on you."

I glance out over the trees. "You tried to catch it. And it flew up onto your nose. You laughed and laughed. The next night you asked me to go outside with you. So we sat in the grass and caught them for hours."

The smile on Carl's face warms the cold clinging to me.

"I don't remember that." Carl answers softly. "I don't remember a lot of the farm; after dale, and Andrea, and Shane."

I'm not sure what to say, but the expression on his face twists something  in my chest. Makes my next breath shallow. I want to take that pain away. There has been so much shit.

I turn away, there has been so much death. How do we keep doing this? How do we keep going? What is the point?

Judith squeals in her sleep. Carl lets go of my jacket and catches up with Sasha to trade Judith to him. Maggie slows down to walk with me, I lean a little heavier on the stick I still carry.

Why do we keep going?

We keep walking, I keep wondering.

The road narrows, trees creep back in around us, and the sun swells higher. My face is hot and sweat sticks to my hair, my eyes, my hands. I smell worse than the dead.

Taz whines and loops around my calf's as I begin to drag behind the group. The road rolls in shimmering waves on and on.

A building slips from the waves, and my head spins at the shadows creeping across the road.

I slam back first into the buildings exterior and slide down to the ground. Groaning to myself.

Glenn and Carl lean against the garage doors beside me. "What is it?" Carl is asking.

Maggie crouches down- Judith perched on her hip- to look at my foot. I try not to pull away.

"I think it's a fire truck?" Glen wipes at the glass.