A LEAP OF THE EARLY BIRD

If only nothing else mattered...

The darnest thing about love is that it comes unexpectedly. Never when you desire it. Never when you need it. Never when you expect it. And the oddest thing about love is that when it comes, a heart is defenseless against it...

Can was a man of his words. Of honor. He was a man who had a plan for life. But the luck of his life had plans for him he could never prepared himself for. His luck gave little thought to his plans, and even less to the guarded fences around his heart. His luck brought him Sanem. Because he needed her. Even though it may have to take some time for him to make peace with it.

All morning long Can hoped to get to spend some time close to Sanem. She made it clear to him she was mad because she had to pretend to be his beloved. She made that crystal cleat to him. Yet the light in her eyes shone brighter than ever when they dined with Fabri. He could not forget that light. Nor could he forget the way his hand felt against her shoulder during the dinner. Being able to touch her if only for a moment made him yearn for more. And he hoped for more. Little did he know that it was her turn to run her fingers accross his skin. Across his face. He was reluctant to join in the employee game, but felt pressures to do so as the head of the company. So he did. And his heart lit ablaze. He never realized a simple touch could make his skin boil. Sanem carressed his neck, beard, eyes, and lips. He was a mature man. He couldn't say he never felt a woman's touch. But it all fell short to the way Sanem made him feel. He could even go so far as to say he forgot he ever felt anything that happened before meeting Sanem. Only Sanem mattered now. She always would.

Feeling her gentle hands on his face was indescribable. Looking at her beautiful face mere inches away was beyond his control. And he could feel he was loosing that control. So he closed his eyes, giving in to the feeling of longing. His mind wondered to the moment he kissed her at the opera. She enchanted him then. Much as she did just now. And the longing changed into a flash of desire. He opened his eyes and closed his fists. As tight as he could. Held them behind his back along with his sunglasses. He knew perfectly well if released his grip now, if he brought his arms any closer to Sanem, he would just grab her and fall into a kiss. And it wouldn't matter who saw them or not. That closeness could not have not affected him. He hoped that she would both keep carressing his face and let go of it this instant. He was lost, yet he realized in that moment that all he desired in this world, in his life, stood right before him. And her reaction spoke louder than words. She denied she knew him. She could have fooled others, but not the two of them.

He was reassured of his effect on Sanem when he saw her sitting next to Osman. Amused, he thought, that all it took was for him to walk past her, and she forgot her fiance was even there. She was still taken with him. But he had to admit that he was taken with her as well. Seeing her with Osman made his gut turn. How was it that he never knew the taste of jealousy before he met Sanem? How was it that he never bothered to feel so territorial with anyone else ever before? And when did she become so important to him that it mattered so much?

He could not believe when he saw Sanem push her fiancé away just so she could sit by his side when Fabri walked in. Had her fiancé matter so little? Or did he matter more? Those questions would have to wait a bit longer. For now, all he could see and feel and comprehend was that Sanem was back in his arms. Closer than ever, and much more affectionate. She left, but came back. And that light in her eyes kept shining brighter at him. Even more when he lay his hand on her knee. But he noticed something else in her eyes too. He saw worry. And that worried him. He took her hand in his, and excused them from the table. She walked with him, following his lead. As he paused by the flowers, he knew then that he had to choose his words carefully.

What he thought and what his heart felt waged a battle inside him. The work did not matter. The contract was important, but would proove irrelevant if they lost it because he felt uncomfortable with Fabri. And the fact that he was forcing her to pretend to be his beloved made him feel even worse. So he asked her to go, or to stay if she really wanted to stay. Out of her own will, her own heart's desire. And her words flooded his heart. She repeated the words she told him that day when Arzu made it clear what her intentions were. Sanem spoke softly, but directly. If he asked her to stay, she would stay. If he asked her to leave, she would go. Though it may have sounded negatively, without any commitment to her actions, it was so completely opposite. And he finally understood it. She trusted him. With his intentions, with her heart. She would stay if he only asked her to. That, if nothing else was enough to completely surrender to her. If he only could. Because just then he saw her ring. And his heart had no choice but to hide.

He finally fell in love. No reason to deny it. No way he could have. If only nothing else mattered. If only she were free to choose him. If only it was possible for him to let her in completely. But life was life, and he was an honorable man. As much as it pained him to surrender to the hurt in his heart now, he had no other choice. What other choice could he have?