A LEAP OF THE EARLY BIRD

Painfully lonely...

How would one describe loneliness? It can be argued that it comes in different forms and for different reasons. But none is comparable to the feeling of loneliness that a heart in love feels, when it can no longer hear the beloved one's heart beating next to it. Especially, when it is forced to endure daily life knowing that the heart of the beloved is close by, but no longer desires to be loved.

If someone would tell Sanem that she could no longer be a dreamer, her heart would break. Because she was one to the very core of her being. She was as stubborn as a mule, and as unpredictable as the weather, but there was one constant in her life. She was a dreamer, and always believed in people's good intentions. She trusted Emre, and learned most painful of lessons by doing so. She did not trust Can at first, but she learned to open her heart to him because she recognized that goodness in his heart. He was a reserved man, but his heart was what set him apart from others. He also dropped everything to help his father when he needed him most. She also hoped that the man Can was, he would see in the end that even though she made mistakes, he would end up coming back to her...

Sanem walked back from the printshop. Though the walk was long, she felt that she needed the air. Her heart ached more than ever before in her life. Being told by Can that it was over was one thing. But being told by him that he would not care about her after she paid off her dept ripped something inside her. Crushed something inside. She was numb from the pain and yet painfully aware that he was no longer there to hold her hand. Preoccupied with her thoughts, she did not see Akif's car approach. But he saw her. He asked if she was alright. For the few times he met her before, he never saw her look so distraught. So sad. So crushed. She was no longer the bubbly and chatterbox of a gal he remembered. She told him she was alright, but Can had ended their short-lived relationship. She wanted to walk away. But Akif refused to leave her in the state she was in. He was not only Can's friend. He was fond of her and was beginning to form a friendship with her as well.

Akif offered to take Sanem for çay, and he knew she needed to talk. Even if she would not reveal the cause of her distress and sadness. But she did. She opened up to Akif. She felt safe with him. She somehow knew that she could trust him. That she could tell him the truth and he would not judge her for it. So she did. She poured her heart out. And Akif held his breath. He knew Can loved Sanem. He knew Can was in love with her. But he also knew the type of man that Can was. And it was not because Can was a bad man. It was because Can was hurt by life and chose to not forgive and forget, rather than keep anyone who hurt him or broke his trust.

Akif liked Sanem, and he loved Can like a brother only could. His heart broke for both of them. But he knew there was little chance, if any, that Can would forgive Sanem. And yet... Akif knew Can like the back of his hand, and he did notice a change in Can. A silent change, barely noticeable, and yet it was there. He asked if she wanted him to speak with Can. She denied that request the minute he said it. It was her battle to endure, and she would not dare to put their own brotherly relationship in jeopardy. And because of that, for reasons only known to Akif, he realized how special Sanem was, and how much he was beginning to like her.

Fact was, she was so much different than anyone Can ever dated. Especially Polen. Akif tolerated Polen, but she never warmed up to either him or Metin. And the feeling was mutual. He was thankful that he had not been invited to Polen's birthday party at Can's home. He wasn't sure he would have come. But Sanem, she was not only sincere and kind, he realized she possessed the uncanny ability to warm up a heart from within. He only hoped it wasn't too late for her to warm up Can's heart and make him believe in their love again.

As Sanem returned to the agency, she could not figure out what happened. No one would look her in the eye, no one looked one another in the eye, and the atmosphere was grimmer than grim. She spoke with Leyla, and everything made sense. To her, at least. Emre gave bribes. He was the financial officer of the agency, yet he broke the number one rule of the trade. Since the news spread quickly, creditors started to call in requesting immediate payments, and clients started calling in to cancel campaigns. And worst of all, Leyla still defended him and somehow put the blame on Can. Sanem could not believe it. Neither in the fact that Can could have been blamed for any of it in the slightest bit, nor in the fact that her sister was so foolish to have believed Emre. Or too far under his spell. Either way, Sanem was not at all surprised that Emre could have stooped so low.

She came across Ceycey. He was so visibly shaken that he barely knew what he was doing. But he held çay. She asked him if it was meant for Can. He replied yes. She offered to take the çay to Can herself. The moment she entered his office her heart sank. And it broke for Can. Seeking the files scattered all over the floor made her imagine what must have happened. But she also imagined something else. She not only knew that Can would have let his temper fly, he would have been hurt beyond words. Emre, in his blind selfishness, was becoming more and more of a dark character to her. He did not care about the agency. He did not care about Can. And, above all, he did not care about his father. That was something she could not comprehend. As a child raised in a loving home and raised to respect her elders, Sanem could not for the life of her understand how Emre could show such a vast disregard for what the agency meant to Aziz Bey. Whether or not Aziz raised him, whether or not Emre grew up with his father. Emre simply disregared his family and his family's legacy, all in the name of sick ambitions.

She gathered the files. Suddenly, she saw a stone. A white moonstone. Can's moonstone. But only one. Deep inside she knew the other stone could not have been far away, because Can always kept both  together. And then, she saw the other one. Down on the floor. The dark moonstone looked even more lonely than she felt herself. It looked neglected. And she realized that even if they were no longer together, she still cared about Can. And she cared about those moonstones as well. She could not have left the moonstone lying on the ground. Her heart would not permit her to do so. She reached for it, only to meet Can knee to knee. Face to face. Eye to eye. Aching heart to aching heart. She noticed the pain in his eyes, though he tried to hide it. He yearned to hold her so that she would take his pain away. And both of them knew how painfully lonely they felt...