A LEAP OF THE EARLY BIRD

What hurt the most...

What sort of pain hurts the most? Is it a physical one? Or the emotional one? The physical pain, albeit excrutiating and oftentimes unbearable, eases its physical aspect, only to become a faint memory of what used to hurt. But emotional pain stays with one, many times forever. Although it may not find its origin in a physical sense, the emotional pain hurts ever more so, especially if it reaches deep within, to the very core of one's soul...

What ended as an indescribably chaotic evening with the Aydins that Can could not have predicted, turned into a morning filled with sunshine, melody of chirping birds, and Sanem's beautiful smile welcoming him at the amusement park. He was glad that his work finally did not confine him to four walls. He found freedom in the open air of the park. As loud and wild as the park was, it actually calmed his restlessness. It reminded him of the untamed wilderness of nature. And he always found solace in that.

Walking through the park, a voice called out to him, and asked him to come closer to a booth. He looked at who may have called for his attention, and found that it was a beautiful lady of a doll. He asked for her name. He was not surprised to find out that her name was Artemiz. Artemiz, the most skillful of archers from Sanem's story of the Orion. He was glad to have found her, Sanem and his Artemiz. In the same language of innocence, he introduced himself as Albatross. Both of these names only made sense to them both, and both meant the world to them.

The beautiful Artemiz complimented him on the most handsome way he looked that day, and he paid her a compliment of similar proportions. Since Artemiz wanted to tease him, he decided to play his part as well. She asked if they could leave, leave and go even if just to an unhabited island. He in turn advised her to threat carefully because she played with fire. Her reply made his skin tingle. She replied that in this case they should burn with that fire. She could not have known what her words meant to him. How much they meant to him. He was a lone man before they met. He had Polen, that may be so, but still he felt alone. And since meeting Sanem, he realized that opening up his heart to someone may be as freeing as it was endearing.

He came around the booth, only to find Sanem still on the stepping ladder. He gathered her close and brought her down. There weren't many things he enjoyed more than holding her close to him. Just holding her close. They fit perfectly against each other. She fit perfectly in his arms. As fragile as she may have seemed, she was just as strong. And he loved that about her. She told him that it was very romantic. He could not have agreed more. His eyes were close to hers, his lips closer. Her presence overpowered him, and she did not even know it. Her innocence made it matter to him even more. The fact was, he was about to kiss her, out in the open, and he was completely ready to surrender to that desire. And then, he was ready to punish Deren for calling out his name. She prevented a kiss. Their kiss. A kiss he awaited for so long...

As the evening came, the agency fought tooth and nail to ensure the campaign would sway either way. Sanem stood by the ferris wheel and felt helpless in trying to convince the couples to mark support for the romantic reason for the campaign. It was no use. Yet, with everyone else gone from her sight, the dreamer in her still felt the happiness the amusement park had to offer. She decided to take a ride on the ferris wheel herself. And she could not have been more surprised and happier to see that Can had joined her. Though she was happy to spend some alone time with Can, she worried they would be seen. But Can took care of that detail in the best possible way. He asked the operator to stop the ride when they were at the top for five minutes. Five minutes when they could be all alone. Five minutes when they could be together. Five minutes when they could be themselves and hold each other close without having to pretend that they did not matter to each other.

Can felt a pang of love hit him and his heart when he saw Sanem draw a heart with their initials on the ride's pole. Strange, he thought, that he never bothered to write such a thing with or about anyone else before meeting Sanem. Strange, he thought, that he never thought of the symbolism of that image and what it could mean. One heart, and the letters symbolising their names. Even more strange, he thought, was the thought that he did not feel any fear of commitment or fear for his heart and its future with Sanem. No, what he thought and felt was peace. He not only did not feel any fear at that moment, he felt hope. He felt happy. He felt content. His beloved sat next to him, in his arms, next to his heart. If this night lasted forever, he would have been fine with that...

And then... Everything changed. From a distance of just a few meters... Everything changed. From a sound of just a few words. Everything changed. From a depth of despair his heart did not know how to handle...

He overheard Sanem speaking with Emre. About the lies she lied for him. About the cover ups she covered up for him. But that meant nothing. He would have looked into that afterwards. What hit him like a direct arrow of Artemiz right into his heart was Sanem's admission to Emre that he meant nothing to her. That he did not matter. That it was just a matter of time and she would end things with him. Worst, that she would end it in a way as not to hurt him. Was she really that heartless to ever assume so, he thought? Those few words, those few letters put together in a senseless order, froze his blood. That pang of love he felt in his heart a short while ago turned into a pang of pain, fear, and panic. He walked after her, but each step he took brought on a wave after wave of indescribable crush of despair. He turned, and fled, because he realized that more than demanding an explanation from Sanem he feared her answer...

But he returned. The pain in him felt so unbearable that nothing could have hurt more. He drove his car back like a mad man. Like a hurt man. Like a man with nowhere left to turn but in the direction of what had the potential to crush his heart into a million pieces. He found Sanem. And he could barely speak. Each word felt heavier and heavier. If his soul did not scream out through his words, he would not know how to withstand that pain inside. He begged her for answers. He demanded them. In a desperate attempt of his heart, his heart pleaded silently for her response to deny what he heard. But she had not. She did not deny it. Any of it. Word after word, she revealed to him that she had lied. Time after time. No, she did not come to his home to retrieve a ring. No, she was not engaged...

That, along with the words he heard while she spoke with Emre, tore him apart. Not just his heart. Not just his soul. He felt torn into pieces, and he could hardly breathe. Could he have been that deceived? Did she really not love him at all? Could she have not only have no feelings for him but hate his so much to bring him that much pain? He refused to shed tears in front of her. Though those tears rushed to his eyes, he fought with every last resort he still had in him for them to not come. Not now. Not yet. Not in front of her. He was hurt. But he would not show her how much. At least he tried. But he did hurt. All over. But what hurt the most was knowing that the very first person he decided to trust dealt him a blow he knew he would not be able to recover from. Because he loved her...