Golden | Jungkook AU

09

"I know you're in there." Jungkook said from the other side of the door. "I don't know what I did but I'm sorry." When I didn't respond, he continued. "I'm leaving to hang out with Dahye so please get something to eat since you won't come out when I'm around. I made you lunch. Please eat...I love you." 

I rolled over in bed and listened as his footsteps disappeared out of the apartment. After leaving Jin's, I practically locked myself in my room only leaving for class and work. It was hard especially when I would see him on campus. I literally would turn around and run so he wouldn't see me. At first, it was extremely difficult because Jungkook was freaking out. He knew something happened at the party but he just didn't know what. The first three nights he slept outside of my door. After the fourth, he gave up. Jungkook wasn't one to change up his schedule so it was easy, I would wake up early to leave for class and wait until he was in his last class to go back home. I would make myself something to eat then lock myself in the room for the rest of the night only leaving to sneak into the bathroom. It was really hard not to talk to him, all I wanted to do was talk to him but I just couldn't. It's dumb of me to ignore him, it only makes the situation worse but I just couldn't face him, not yet at least. 

Hoseok thinks this plan is disastrous but for the time being it's going to have to do. I never realized how much I long for him when he's away, even at night I find myself rolling over expecting to feel him. It's tough and I've cried for almost two weeks now. Two weeks. The longest I've been away from Jungkook was a whole summer but even then we messaged each other constantly. Not being able to talk or hold Jungkook for two weeks has felt like years. It was horrible. The other day Yoongi told me about the craziest club and the first thing I wanted to do was call Jungkook so we could go together but instead I told Jin, who told me clubs are for morons. Even being around his friends was hard. Everything reminded me of him and I missed him so much. 

Around the end of week one, I was on the verge of giving up and just talking to Jungkook but then Hoseok and I saw Dahye and Jungkook on campus together and I went back to square one. Hoseok had to hold me behind a tree while I cried. A lot of people stared and I was so embarrassed even though Hoseok kept reassuring me that it was okay. A couple days after that, Nayeon and I went to grab some food and I saw them studying together. It was too much for me. The realization that I was in love with Jungkook was already overwhelming but the timing is what made it worse. Why couldn't I have figured this out two months ago? Why did I have to have this epiphany when he's seeing someone? 

After a while, crying got too tiring. I was hurt and trying to figure out my emotions but I knew at some point I was going to have to face reality. I knew I had to get over this because it wouldn't be fair to Jungkook if I kept loving him especially in secret. He needed me to be his best friend, not his lover. I knew if I didn't get over this I would eventually resent him for hurting me even though none of this is his fault. It wouldn't be fair to me or him. All of my friends have been really understanding and so kind about this situation but that's not what I needed. I needed someone to tell me to suck it up and get over it and I knew there was only one person who could do that. Taehyung. The man who set up Dahye and Jungkook to begin with. He would tell me the truth and he won't spare my feelings and that's exactly what I need. 

When Taehyung opened the door, he was shocked. I've never gone to his place if I wasn't with Jungkook or if I wasn't there for Jimin. Taehyung and I have a tricky history, out of all of Jungkook's friends, he was definitely the one I was least close to. We don't hate each other or anything, he's just really flirtatious around me so Jungkook always likes to make sure there's distance between Taehyung and I. But here we are, alone in his apartment sitting in an awkward silence on his couch.

"So, why are you here?" Taehyung asked. "Don't get me wrong, happy to see you but this is a little strange."

"I have a little problem." I said playing with the hem of my shirt. "A Jungkook problem."

"Ah," Taehyung nodded. "I've heard about it."

"You have?" I asked extremely worried that Hoseok or Yoongi let it slip accidentally. 

"Jungkook's told me you've been ignoring him." he answered. "He doesn't know why though."

I sighed in relief. "Okay, that's great-"

"But it has to do with the night of the party, huh?" Taehyung interrupted. "Jimin hasn't told anyone else but he said you cried."

"Yeah, I did." I said in almost a whisper. "Listen-"

"So, you finally realized you love him?" he chuckled making me freeze. "Namjoon owes me $20."

"Wait, how did everyone know but me?" I was shocked, this whole time they could have easily said something to me instead they let me realize it like a dumbass. 

He smiled, "You're so oblivious. Literally everyone sees way you look at him. Hell, I've been trying to ask you out since the day I met you but I gave up once I realized the world stopped whenever Jungkook came in the room. I could visibly see your body relax whenever he was around." he laughed. "The reason why you've had such bad luck with guys is because no one can compete with Jungkook."

I was speechless. Before the party, I never looked at Jungkook as anything other than just my best friend. It never occurred to me that I could be in love with him but now it's painfully obvious. I'm so blind. 

"That's how I've always felt about him," I said. "I just thought that was normal, I didn't think I was in love with him and now I feel so dumb."

"You're not dumb, just a little slow." Taehyung teased making me laugh. "If it makes you feel any better, Jungkook has no clue. He's just as dumb as you."

I smiled, "Good." I felt relieved to know that I haven't been embarrassing myself in front of him. "It's going to stay that way."

"That's not a good idea." he said. "You're only going to end up hurting yourself."

I shrugged, "That's not more important than our friendship." 

"You're going to end up hurting Jungkook as well. You owe it to him to at least be honest." he argued. "He loves you and you're pushing him away. Trust me, no person is more important than you to him. He would die single and fatherless if that meant getting to spend the rest of his life with you." 

That hurt because deep down I knew it was true. "That's exactly why I can't tell him." I cried. "He deserves more than that."

"And what do you deserve?" Taehyung asked using his thumb to wipe away my tears. 

"I-If I tell Jungkook how I feel, regardless if he feels the same way or not, he's going to drop everything for me." I sobbed. "He's my world and if the only way he's happy is if I have to watch him be with someone else then so be it. What kind of friend would I be if I stopped that? Why should Jungkook spend the rest of his life with me when he should be with someone more capable of loving?"

"Because you're worth it, trust me." he smiled making me cry even harder. "You deserve love, Mina, just as much as Jungkook does. If you keep lying to Jungkook, you're only going to hurt yourself. You're already pushing him away and he's not going to give up on you. He will never give up on you but there's only so much he can do. If you keep this up, you're going to lose Jungkook for good."

The rest of the day I spent crying on Taehyung's shoulder until Jimin came home. He was very surprised to see me there but once he saw the tears he rushed to my side. Jimin quickly took over and let me pour my heart out to him. He even made me tea and gave me some eye cream so my eyes won't puff up overnight. Taehyung is reserved and let Jimin take care of me but he sat by my side the whole time. They both made sure I got home and reminded me that I was worthy of love. It wasn't what I came there for originally but it's what I needed to hear. I felt so much better, everything was clearer. I knew exactly what I needed to do.

But that all flew out the window when I unlocked the front door and saw Jungkook waiting there for me. 

A/N: 

Shout out to Vmin.