Golden | Jungkook AU

12

"Good morning." Jungkook whispered shaking me awake. He was laying beside me with his arms wrapped tightly around me. "How do you feel?"

And that's when I remembered last night. I couldn't even look up at him, I can't believe we kissed last night. I didn't know if I was embarrassed or just needed to throw up.

"I'm okay, how do you feel?" I asked. 

"My head is killing me," he groaned. "I'm also very late, I was supposed to meet Dahye this morning."

I froze at the sound of her name. 

"We drank way too much." he laughed. "I'm surprised you're not hungover."

"I feel kinda nauseous but that's it." I shrugged. "Last night-"

Jungkook chuckled, "Was fun! I haven't gotten drunk like that in so long, I freaked out this morning when I woke up I don't remember how I got here."

That's when it occurred to me that he didn't remember anything. I was definitely drunk last night but not drunk enough to not remember Jungkook and I made out. Now it all makes sense, the reason why he was so flirtatious and affectionate, he was wasted. I feel sick. 

"You okay?" he asked sitting up. 

I couldn't speak, I only nodded. Jungkook got out of bed and began getting dressed. I could only just lay there and stare. It didn't help I was in his bedroom and in his covers, I could smell him all around me. Once again, Mina, you're fucking dumb. I knew I shouldn't have kissed him, I should have known he was drunk. I got so lost in the idea of Jungkook wanting to kiss me, I should have known it didn't mean anything. 

"Do you want to hang out with Dahye and I?" 

That is the last thing I want to do, I would rather die.

"I'm feeling kind of sick," I lied. "I'm gonna just stay home for the rest of the day."

Jungkook walked over and placed his hand on my forehead, "Do you want me to stay home with you?" he asked making me shake my head. "If you're not feeling well, I can stay home and take care of you."

"I'm a big girl." I mumbled swatting his hand away. "I'll be fine."

"You sure?"

"Positive." I answered finally getting out of bed. "I'm gonna shower."

I didn't wait for him to respond as I hurried to my room to grab my towel and an extra pair of new clothes. I turned on the water letting it run while I stood in the mirror staring at myself in disbelief. I can't believe I kissed Jungkook. I mean it's not the first time we've kissed but it was definitely the first time it felt like that. It was intense, I felt like I was literally on fire but in a good way like everything else disappeared and it was just us. It was so overwhelming, I thought my heart was going to beat out of my chest. When we first pulled away, we just sat there smiling at each other. My heart is warm just thinking about it. God, I love him.

I snapped myself out of it and entered the shower. I needed to wash the traces of Jungkook off of me, I could still smell him on me. I wish I was the one who didn't remember last night, I wish it never happened because now I can't stop thinking about it. How the butterflies in my stomach wouldn't stop fluttering and how he nervously tangled his fingers through my hair while giggling between kisses. How fast my heart raced when he said my name. Fuck, I'm screwed.

"Get it together." I whispered to myself as I began to shampoo my hair. 

I thought I could continue to live with Jungkook with my secret but it's proving to be tougher than I expected. I honestly thought he was going to say something dumb and I was gonna forget I ever was in love with him but now I find it endearing. Everything he does makes me smile like an idiot. I caught myself staring at him a little too hard the other day when he was playing video games in the living room. To make things worse, he walks around half naked. Do you know how many times I've had to take a fake call so I wouldn't have to be around him? It's exhausting. 

The other day I was helping Namjoon with an assignment when Jungkook texted me, I literally dropped everything and ran to my phone. It was so embarrassing. I'm getting second-hand embarrassment just thinking about it. It's been so long since I've felt this way about anyone and I wish I could say I hate it but I don't. I love it. I love the way my heart speeds up when he enters the room. The way my heart clenches whenever he hugs me or tells me I look pretty. The way he makes me feel so warm whenever I'm around him. 

I wish I could resent Jungkook. I wish I could be angry and move on but I knew I couldn't. Not when he's the sweetest, caring and most loving person I know. I couldn't hate him, not when he made me feel so happy. I know I should tell him how I feel, I know that if it was anybody else I would have to confess but he's not just anybody. He's Jungkook and I don't want to lose him. I'm selfish, I want him in my life, even if I'll only ever be his best friend. Being his best friend was enough for me. I know I will never get the chance to have his whole heart but a piece will do. The pain doesn't stand a chance when all it takes is a look from Jungkook to make my heart melt. He was worth the pain. He's worth a million heartbreaks. 

A/N:

WHEN YALL THOUGHT THINGS WERE GOING GOOD LMFAO I HAD TO IM SORRY. ALSO, SHE'S WHIPPED...POOR GIRL.