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Seeing as Harry and Sam were staying in Mum and Dads house, Tommy and I decided that we would stay in his home, which was in the same area anyway, and just walk over in the morning. It was the night before Christmas Eve, we had just left the other four members of the Holland Clan and were walking towards Tom's house on the darkened streets.
"How are you feeling?" Tom broke our comfortable silence.
"I'm okay," I lied.
He sucked in a deep breath, "Chris told me about what you said to him when you were drunk,"
"I've already established that Chris is a dumbass," I joked, trying to change the subject, earning a stern look from Tom, "Yeah, I like him, so what?"
"Oh, I don't care that you like him," He began, looking down on me slightly as he was an inch taller than me, "I care about the part where you're borderline suicidal,"
I sighed heavily, "I'm not suicidal, I said that to Chris, I just don't want to be here," I admitted.
"Why, Faye?"
"Because, Tom, I feel like I'm letting everybody down. Myself included. I struggle to get out of bed in the morning, I can't even look after myself properly and everything reminds me of my accident. And I feel bad for being depressed because there are people out there who are struggling to pay their bills or feed their kids," I rated, breaking into a sob while doing so.
"Faye," He trailed off, "Sure, other people may have it worse, but that doesn't change the fact that this is an illness that is affecting you. You're my sister and my best friend, I don't know what I'd do without you,"
We hugged int the middle of the street for a few minutes before I wiped my tears away and told myself to stop being such a bitch baby. We spent the night watching movies and eating everything that was sweet that we possibly could before calling it a night.
Although it was nice to open up about what was bothering me to someone, while being sober, I couldn't help but still feel so fucking alone.
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