HOW TO FALL INLOVE [TINCAN AU]

CHAPTER 12 : ENGAGEMENT

Tin cried himself to sleep, and when he woke up the next day, Can was already gone. He left before sunrise, as he could not even sleep.

Tin felt a pang looking out the window and Can's car was no longer there. It was what he wanted anyway. It was what he needed. Or so he thought.

Tin decided to stay in Chiang Mai for another day. He spent the whole morning cleaning their old house before he went to his father at the hospital where he would spend the rest of the day before leaving back to Bangkok at night. He was sitting quietly beside his father, holding his hand while his mind was swimming in a pool of thoughts.

The afternoon sunlight was just warm enough to illuminate the room. It was almost sunset and the sky was already slowly turning into a faint wash of warm orange and light gray.

"You know dad, I was cleaning your room earlier and I saw an old photo of you and mom together. I think it was taken before mom left." His voice was calm and warm. "I took it out of the picture frame and put it in my diary. I want to paste it on my room's wall in Bangkok. To remind me more about you and your unwavering love for her."

"You know I have met someone recently..." Tin said as he gave his father a sad smile. "I brought him here to you already these past two days. His name is Can. And I love him so much." His voice cracked a little. He cleared out his throat, trying so hard to compose himself.

"I don't know if it is the same kind of love you have for mom, but I know it is the kind of love that feels good but also hurts so bad," Tin said. "It's such a pity that we were not made for each other---like you and mom were."

He looked out the window and into the sky. It is such a pity that the greatest kind of love in the world was never given the chance they deserve."

"He's getting married soon," Tin said after a short pause, trying so hard not to break into tears.

"I will be going back home in Bangkok tonight, but I promise I will be back. I am graduating in a few months, and I will be back to bring you home my valedictorian medal. Soon enough I will be able to get a new better paying full-time job and I could already afford to put you in a much better hospital." He squeezed his father's hand ever so gently."You know what? I wish that would not need to happen. I wish you could wake up soon and attend my graduation. I want you to hang the medal on my neck. I want you to hear my valedictory speech..."

"I have a draft of it here, I already started writing it..." Tin went to grab his bag to get his diary and his father's photo suddenly fell from it. He picked it up only to notice something written at the back of the photo. It was barely readable since the words were written so small and the ink has already slightly faded out and smudged.

It was a note from Tin's father addressed to his mother.

To my most beloved Freya,

I know I am not easy to love, there are times that I put you off or scare you away. And there are times that I might have made you feel that I do not love you enough... But please know that I am trying my best to love you with all that I have and all that I can. My illness might take away my sanity, but it will never take away my love for you.