Nowhere To Run

16 - i need the truth

"It's saturday, Beam. You don't have to go to work." Forth insisted, lying on the bed, whining that his husband had to leave early in the morning.

"Stay here in bed with me." Forth reached out to Beam who was buttoning up his shirt.

"I just need to visit four of my clinics for inspection then I'll go home right away." Beam pinches Forth's cheek.

"Promise you'll come home before dinner?" Forth asked with a pout.

"Promise." Beam answered.

He leaned in and kissed Forth who eagerly reciprocated with his lips.

Forth places both his own hands behind his head, flexing his arms and biceps at Beam while he wiggles his eyebrows.

"No. No. You're not gonna get me again with that technique." Beam chuckled at the disappointed Forth

"I'll bring home some mochi for you." Beam mushes Forth's cheeks even more.

"I love you Beam." Forth looked at his eyes.

"I love you too."

A loud knock jolted Beam awake from his sleep. He looked around, confused. He was still in his office, he must have accidentally fallen asleep. He can vaguely remember his dream now but he remembers that Forth was in it.

The loud knock continues. Beam fixed himself before telling his secretary to enter.

"Sir? Here are the copies of this month's audit and-" Beam's secretary stopped when he noticed Beam was preoccupied with something.

"Sir? Are you okay? I can come back later." She asked.

"W-what? Sorry. I was.." Beam blinked to shake off his disorientation.

His dream, it felt good. He can't remember every detail of it but for some reason he knows it was a good dream, that they were happy.

"Sir? Sir are you okay?" His secretary asked, concerned.

"W-what? W-why?"

Beam's secretary reluctantly pointed at his face. His hand touched his cheeks. There were drops of tears.

Beam wiped it away as fast as he could. Partly confused why he didn't felt anything and partly embarassed that his secretary had seen it.

"Oh.. Uhh.. Sorry.. I.. Uhh.."

"I'll be on my desk Sir. Just call me if you need anything." She said sympathetically with a sad smile before leaving the room.

I don't know what to do anymore.

The rest of his day was spent locked in his office trying to work himself to oblivion. When it was time to go home he picked up the withered daffodils on the table and gently placed it on the bin. After he married Forth the flower had stopped coming. Beam thought that impressing him was not on Forth's to-do list anymore since he secured him with a ring already.

Beam rests his head on the driver's seat of his car and took several deep breaths. He had to go home now and play tug of war with Forth.

He took his phone and opened his inbox. Kit and Pha had sent him messages and up until now he still doesnt have the courage to tell them what had happened. For Beam, what he did was something that they will never understand. And judgement or sympathy is the last thing he needs right now.

The engine roared and he drove away heading home. Beam passed by a café and decided to make a quick stop. He was tossing and catching his car keys on his palm when he spotted a familiar face, seated at a table facing the glass mirror.