shattered

chapter 9

Yoongi POV

"My sister wouldn't have tried anything like that."

How could anyone know that? No one knows what the future would have held for her sister if meningitis hadn't taken her. I feel frustrated with her family. Why are they so stupid, so blind? Why would they tear this beautiful person down?

"They said it was my fault my sister died." My heart stops as she utters those words. "They wished I was the one who died."

I can feel as her heart shatters again. I can feel the pain engulf her. It washes over me like a tidal wave. The desperation of wanting to be loved, and finding out no one wants you.

"He didn't love me. He loved my sister."

Her friend said that? Jesus, why would anyone say anything like that? Ever?

Every word she speaks makes anger burn in me. Not at her. Never at her; but at her family. At her friends. At every fucking asshole who let her down.

Every fucking wanker who ignored her pain, her despair. Her screams for help. I want to hunt down every person who broke her fucking heart, who stomped on her soul. Who left her a shell. I want to show them what they did to her. I want them to feel her pain, her anguish, her absolute desperation to be loved.

I try to keep the anger off my face. I don't know if I am succeeding. The anger is bubbling up inside of me. I don't want her to think I'm angry at her for the decisions she made. I have been in that pit of hell. I know sometimes it feels like there is no other way out.

I'm just lucky I have family and friends who love me, who recognized the signs, and got me help as soon as I needed it. I fucking wish she had someone like that.

Jesus, I want to hold her in my arms and protect her from the world. Why would anyone want to hurt her?

"No one but the doctors visited me for over a fortnight."
Her words pull me out of my reprieve. She was in hospital after trying to kill herself... and no one fucking visited? No one... what the fuck is wrong with her family?

I have never wanted to hit someone as much as I do hearing those words.

She was broken, and no one cared?

She continues telling me her story, I try to keep my face clear of the emotions inside; but my fists, my fists are clenched so tightly. My nails are digging into my palms, and I want to hit something. But I can't. I can't do anything. Because if I do, she will think I'm judging her. I'm afraid she will again think that she's not good enough. I can't let her think that. I want her to know that she is too good for them. Too good for her family who turned their backs on her. Too good for her friends that broke her heart. Too good for any of those assholes.

When she gets out of here, she needs to be protected from them. I wonder if she has been given a date for release. I have to ask. I have to know.

"Do you know when you're getting out?" I ask her quietly.

A sad smile crosses her lips, and I know what she's going to say. I know they don't want to let her out.

"If my parents have any say, then never." She looks me in the eyes and I can see the shattered soul she hides from everyone.
"I'm too much trouble. I'm not good enough for them anymore. I'm not the perfect child they want and need. So... I guess, I've been tossed aside?"

How could anyone toss her aside like she is a piece of trash? Can they not see how perfect she is?

I watch as her hand rubs against her chest. Like her heart is hurting her. All the broken shards are stabbing into each other, and bringing her more and more pain.

Her eyes shut as the memories engulf her. She seems to shrink in on herself. Getting smaller before my eyes.

I don't know what to do to help her I don't know if theres anything that could be done to make her feel better.

I want to reach out and touch her, but everything about her is screaming to be left alone. I guess when everyone who was meant to help you destroyed you instead, you become self reliant and don't know how to rely on others. I want her to be able to rely on me.

Something about her keeps drawing me in. Something about her calls to me. Deep in my soul.