shattered

chapter 13

We have finally hit the day I hate the most. Family day.

That one day every month your family is actually invited to visit you.

I'm not saying they aren't allowed to visit at other times, because they are. It's just, this is when everyone has people visiting.

And no one visits me.

Everyone is so happy to see their loved ones. To show off. To be the center of attention and receive love.

And then there's me. Alone. Again. Always alone.

Am I such a horrible person no one can love me? No one wants to be around me? What did I do that was so wrong?

Sera is so excited to see her family. She's practically vibrating in her seat during breakfast. Even though I know no one is going to visit me, her excitement makes me smile.

Everyone's energy feels uplifted today. It's like their souls are repairing because of the love they know they will soon receive. But there's also the ones grumbling away because of all these happy people. All these happy people who know they are loved, and the grumbling ones... well, they aren't sure if anyone is going to be showing up to see them.

After breakfast I sit by the window. Enjoying the quiet before everything becomes loud.

The sun shines down on me. I lean my head back, and enjoy the sensation. I soak up all the warmth I can from the outside, because I feel so cold inside.

The sound system tinkles, letting everyone know that it's time for family and friends to start arriving.

At first theres a slow trickle of people coming in. And I can see people looking on with envy and grumbling quietly and not so quietly with each person that arrives that isn't there for them. Then it's like the dam broke, and people come flooding in. The grumbling soon stops as more and more people arrive, as the grumblers find their families walking in through the door.

I watch as people are embraced. Tears in their eyes as they see their loved ones. Smiles ripping across their faces as children run into open arms.

I listen to words of love. Scolding in the gentlest way possible. I listen to the concern. I listen to them all.

And my heart breaks.

Alone. Always alone.

I watch as Sera's family come bustling in. She lets out a squeal before she is embraced in their loving arms. I smile at them. They look so happy. She is so loved. I want that. She drags them over to me. Her sister is with then today. Her hand gripping Sera's tightly. Like she is scared to let her go. I smile warmly at her.

I politely greet them. Her mother smiles gently at me, and asks if my family have arrived yet. She would love to meet my parents.

I shake my head in response. They haven't arrived. I quickly excuse myself. Going to sit somewhere else. I can't take up all of Sera's time with her family. They have plans to take Sera out for a meal.

I go back to observing the room. Quietly watching the displays of love.

There's a sudden rush of activity at the doors as six guys in masks come rushing in. My eyes track their movements. Everyone's gazes seem to be stuck on them.

"Yoongi!" They all shout. My eyes flick to him. And I see a genuine grin spread across his face before hes tackled to the floor.

Everyone watches them. Some are laughing. Some are trying surreptitiously to film it. Others like me are just watching in awe.