Blood Money - HO

•22•

The car ride home was silent. Tom and Petra were in the front seat, while I sat in the back with Haz, under his arm.
Broken.
Yes, that's how I'd describe it.
Watching my own mother get killed, and it's all my fault.
We get back to the house and Tom and Petra get out of the car.
"You ready?" Haz asks me and I shake my head.
"Okay" he nods. Leaving it at that.
I sit there, trying to let it sink in. My phone rings and I look down at it.
"It's the hospital" I say. I know exactly why they're calling.
"You don't have to answer it" Haz says, but still I answer, holding the phone shakily to my ear.
"Hello?" I say.
"Is this Mrs. Aria Kennan?" The lady asks.
"This is her" I say.
"Mrs. Keenan I'm sorry to inform you.. uhm.. your mother has passed. I'm really sorry"
Someone saying it, out loud, made it so much more real. There's no running from it. My mom is dead.
"Hello?"
Haz grabs the phone and put it to his ear.
"Hi yeah thank you for letting us know" he says and hangs up.
"Let's go inside" I say.
"Okay" he nods, helping me out of the car.
He walks me to my room and I sit on the bed.
"I know today was terrifying, believe me I know. But you have to let yourself forget"
"Forget? Really Harrison?!" I yell at him. "It may be normal for you to witness murder and almost be kidnapped or killed but guess what? That's not fucking normal! Not for me! I'm not going to forget watching someone slit my moms throat!"
I run out of the room and into Toms office.
Not there.
"Ari.. why aren't you with Haz?" Ezra asks as he walks into the office.
"Where's my brother?" I ask, ignoring his question.
"He went to the basement" he says. "But you can't go down there"
"Fine Where's Petra?" I ask.
"Guest room" he says and I nod, walking away.
I knock on the door and walk in.
"Hey" she says.
"Can I sleep in here tonight?" I ask.
"Yeah" she smiles.
I crawl into the blankets and sigh.
"You know, I could really go for a night at the club right now" I laugh.
"Me too, just us swinging around on some poles, having men stuff twenty's down our underwear, the good old days" she says.
"Do you think anything will ever feel normal again?" I ask.
"Maybe for me, but you've gained not just a brother, but a boyfriend and this whole family here, if that's what you even call it. Your life will never go back because you won't be alone anymore" she says.
"Hey, you're family too" I say. "Besides you, I'm sure the only other constant in my life is alcohol"
"Amen to that" she groans, pulling two beers out of the mini fridge.
"No, I'm going to need something stronger tonight" I shake my head.
She grabs the vodka and I nod.
No glasses, no shots, we sat in the blankets and drank straight out of the bottle, letting our minds calm down with every sip.
Petra truly has been my rock these past couple years, she's like a big sister to me. No one can change that, and no one will ever replace her.
But one thing ran through my head, something that I couldn't stop thinking of.
"I'll be back" I say, standing up.
"Aria it's midnight" Petra says.
"I know, I just, I have something I gotta do" I say, walking out the door. I walk down the hallway to Harrison's room and knock on the door. Moments later it opens and he gives me a small smile.
"Let's get you to bed" he says.
"No I need to tell you something!" I say and he nods.
"Okay go ahead" he says.
"I'm absolutely fucking terrified" I laugh. "I'm so scared because a month ago I had no family, I mean absolutely no one, then all of the sudden I have this amazing brother and friends and you. I've never had so much and I'm terrified I'm going to loose it. I can't loose it because I don't think I can get through this without you and I need you to realize I'm sensitive and scared. I need you to let go of the mob for two seconds and be my friend."
He listens, taking in every word.
"You, baby cakes, aren't going to loose me" he shakes his head. "Or anyone else here. I know it can feel that way considering what happened today, but it's over. We're all together now and it's fine"
"It was terrible Haz" I cry. "They didn't even care, he looked dead at me as he did it and then the only reason he cared when I put the gun to my head was because of money, how could someone be so cold?"
Haz frowns, pulling me into a hug.
"I've never felt so small and insignificant In my life.."
"Now that's not true" he says, pulling me over to his bed. "When you pulled that stunt Tom and I both started running to you, we didn't care about catching anybody, or killing anyone, all we could think was that we can't loose you. You may feel small and insignificant but you are quickly becoming one of the most important people in my life"
"Haz stop you're going to make me ugly cry" I laugh, wiping away the tears.
"Seriously Aria, and Tom? When he finally told you that you guys were related, he couldn't stop talking to me about how he was excited for you to come to holidays and to finally have a little sister. He adores you."
"You know what's funny? I actually attempted to give him a lap dance, he got so uncomfortable" I laugh.
"There it is" he says.
"What?" I ask.
"My favorite smile"
I press my lips to his, roughly. Everything in me just wanted to forget about what happened this evening and move on. I have potential for a beautiful life. Even thought I've lost a lot, I've also gained so much.
His lips trace down to my jaw, leaving wet kisses all over me. My eyes squeeze shut and my breath gets heavy.
"That feels so good" I hum.
"I've never wanted anyone this badly" He says, running his hand up my thigh.
"Then take me"