Rag doll

Chapter 8

After a week of taking things easy, then almost 2 weeks of minimal work, I was slowly getting back to my normal routine of cleaning and house work.

Beth, Poppy and I were cleaning the halls. Poppy had gone to change the mop water, while Beth and I waited in very awkward silence waiting.

"4 week today" I announced trying to break the silence.

"Your point is" Beth snapped back, continuing to scrub a mark off the skirting board.

"I was just saying" I mumbled, swing my mop around.

"Really ?" Beth question.

"I mean when i heard of people that had been kidnapped you just always think it would never happen to you but it really did. Not just that like he really hurt me, abused me i guess" I explained. The concept was still weird to think about let alone say.

"Abused really ? Calum pulled him off you before he'd even left a mark. Complain to me when you've been stuck here for two years, then you can rant about being the poor little abused girl. The one in a million unlucky girl who was kidnapped" she kicked my mop and storming away.

"Beth I'm sorry" I went to go after her realizing how selfish I had been but I felt someone grab my arm and pull me back.

"No" Poppy whispered I turned to look at her wonder what she was doing. "She's been though a lot you know, she didn't mean to be so harsh on you"

"What happened to her" I asked quietly. Poppy pulled me into the cleaning room.

"Its hardly my place to tell you but I think you should know. She had been her for about half a year, when she messed up bad, like really bad. No one knows what she did but Michael pushed her down the main stairs. I mean she was knocked and she was really badly beaten up by the fall and whatever happened before she fell" she took a deep breath "No one talks about it. Lucy told me when I got here and Luke-"

"Did Luke hurt you too ?" I cut her off. I would be very shocked it he had. Luke and poppy seamed quite close, even though he literally kidnapped her. I'd realised i'd feel sick ever thinking that about me and Ashton, but Luke seamed to treat Poppy differently, he was kind in the subtlest of ways.

"No, no, Luke would never. But no he would let me anywhere near Michael as a new rag doll. Luke was somehow involved on the whole thing and Michael kil- well got rid of Luke rag doll before me. Lucy didn't say her name but she had been Luke's rag doll from day one like Beth" she stared at me like i should understand what she was on about.

"Wait so... Are you meant to avoid Michael ?" I questioned trying to make sense of it all "Like would he kil- get rid of you too"

"Michael has never tried anything. I wouldn't say he was nice to me in anyway and Luke said he wouldn't do anything now. I think if I acted weird around Michael it would make everything awkward, i never really need to talk to him anyway as he doesn't talk to me so its fine" she shrugged.

"That shit messed up" I exclaimed exhausted from trying to understand the danger of my situation.

"I know, but forget I told you okay. Don't bring it up" she help up her pinky "pinky swear"

"Really ?" I laughed

"Do it" she snapped. Smiling a bit knowing how childish she was being.

"Okay okay. I pinky swear" I giggled under my breath

"Are you worried ?" poppy asked walked out into the hall again, to clean the floors with the clean water she fetched "About the boys coming back"

"Yes, Like what if he is still mad, or wants to get rid of me for a new girl. I'm just going to try be a better 'rag doll' and try not to make him mad at me again. Im really scared of him, he really looked like he wanted me dead" I shrugged, surprising myself a little by what I had said, it sounded to weird saying it out loud. A few months me revolving around keeping a man happy was something I thought no one could ever make me do.

"Well as a start don't swear. I guess the trick is to forgive and forget quickly. and don't worry, I texted Luke and he said Ashton is not angry anymore"

"Phew" I sighed "wait you 'texted' Luke?"

"Err yeah" she said like I should know something "No well" she went on like she was trying to hide something.

"With a phone ?" I asked. I thought surely not if she had a phone why hadn't she called anyone, we could've gotten free, in these three weeks.

"Shit no its a shitty Ipod its old, I wasn't meant to say anything. Look Luke trusted me and gave me a this Ipod so we could talk went he is gone but i have no internet and it cant even make calls the only person i can message is Lukes" she whispered.

"We could have texted someone and we could have gotten away. and you didn't ?" I could feel myself tearing up from anger, i throw my mop into the wall.

I was so pissed off at Poppy. I had be beaten all while Poppy had a chance to get us all out and she didn't. We were all kidnapped and she would rather text luke than go have a life. Nothing in this stupid house made sense once again.

"Please don't hate me. I can't make any calls, it cant even text anyone. I really can only message Luke. If the other boys ever found out they would be so mad at Luke and probably kill me. You can't say anything" she pleaded, she looked at the ground not able to make eye contact with me.

"No, this isn't fair. You could have saved us Poppy. I can't believe you did nothing. Did you even try to contact someone"

"He can check everything I do" Poppy defended herself.

"Did you even try?" I questioned. I could see from the shameful look on her face she hadn't.

I backed away and went my room. I laid on my bed and tried to process it all in my mind. As I thought more and more about the situation tears started to spill out my eyes.

Each day, each conversation, each chore felt like a part of me was slowly being lost. I was being hollowed out and there was nothing but pain and disappointment to fill this emptiness back up with.

Everything second i'm here I become more hopeless than the last. I could see myself in the future, given up on hope like the other girls, just accepting this life as my own and simply obeying the men with no resistance, cuddling up to them like it was normal.

Living the rest of my life simply accepting Ashton has my owner.

~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you x