kiss me now [taekook] ✓

one²: forget, erase, delete

Jeongguk pressed play on the recorded message he had gotten as he laid in bed.

"Hey bub, I'm sorry I couldn't take your call earlier. I had a meeting with one of my professors. I know you're probably sleeping right now. I miss hearing your voice, I know you must too. And I wanted you to go to school with a smile on your face. I hope we can call tomorrow– or well today for you." There was a pause after Taehyung's short laugh. "I swear I'll make it up to you. Things have been hectic and not seeing you is making it all the worse. Oh, my train is here. I have to go. I'll talk to you later, Gguk. I miss you. A lot. Love you to the moon and back."

He replayed it a couple more times. The first time he'd heard this, he had run around his room clutching his phone to his chest, giggling and laughing. Yoongi threw his pillow at him to make him stop squealing.

Now... now everything's changed.

Jeongguk didn't know why he was listening to it right now. It's been a while since he's thought of Taehyung, but the man suddenly crossed his mind and he just couldn't help himself. It's gotten better though. He doesn't cry anymore when it happens. He'd definitely moved on, but he still couldn't help but think of what could've been.

It was currently around 5 am. In just another hour, he'd have to be out of bed to get ready to go to work. Oh how he hated when he woke up before his alarm rang. Not only that, his stupid brain had made him revisit old memories which only added to the misery.

Jeongguk didn't particularly enjoy taking walks down memory lane as every turn he took there was always a picture of him. He didn't realize how much that boy had taken up his life then. Still, even though each and every one of those moments is just painful to think of, he wouldn't give them up for the world. No matter how hard his brain would try to, his heart wouldn't let go. They were just too precious to him.

Jeongguk shook his head and rolled in his bed, leaving his phone to sit on his pillow. He shut his eyes and tried to force himself to go back to sleep. He didn't need to be thinking of this right now, it didn't matter anymore.

He tried for about 10 minutes but rolled right back to his phone. Jeongguk picked it up with a determination he's never felt before. He opened the chat again and pressed on a few buttons before he found himself on the final one.

Would you like to delete this conversation?
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Jeongguk tried, he really did, but he just couldn't. He didn't know what was holding him back. A hope that he would return? Pft, that's disappeared a long while ago. These messages held no value to him.

He still couldn't. Of course he couldn't. He hasn't been able to for the past 7 years.

7 years. 7 whole damn years and Jeongguk still can't delete that stupid conversation and that one contact off his phone. He can't throw out that stupid book that was basically the reason he fell in love with that cute little boy and made Jeongguk the emotional mess he is today. He just can't.

A true failure in all aspects, he would say.

He kept thinking about where everything went wrong for the next hour, and before he knew it, the alarm was going off. Jeongguk groaned and got out of bed. Another day of suffering in this godforsaken world.

Don't get him wrong, Jeongguk didn't really hate his work. He enjoyed his co-workers and the company he worked for,  his salary was also decent. What irked him is the director also known as his boss. An old aged lady who acts like she knows everything and anything and anybody that's not her are dumb idiots who know nothing.