Why are you telling me this
It feels like an eternity until Sujeong finally leaves, with Taehyung promising her at least five times that he'll arrange a meeting between her and Dr. Jeon. He wonders how she hadn't sensed Taehyung's unease, but it's just as well, because Taehyung doesn't really want to explain something he doesn't understand.
He'd known Sujeong for years, ever since starting college. He'd gotten his business degree and took over Rise, while Sujeong went on to graduate school, where she was doing pharmaceutical research. They were friends, and they fucked a lot. Taehyung never worried about her trying to use him for his money because she herself came from a wealthy family. They had an understanding.
His conversation-- if he could call it a conversation-- with Jeongguk had gone downhill incredibly quickly, what with his remarkable ability to say the damnedest things at the wrong times. It had left him agitated, frustrated, and more than a little disappointed.
But in calling Sujeong, there were several things he hadn't anticipated. First, he didn't think them sleeping together would make him feel so guilty.
Like he had done something wrong-- almost likebhe cheated on Jeongguk, which was ridiculous because Taehyung would be lucky if he could even call him and Jeongguk acquaintances .
Yes, the sex was nice. Especially with someone who wanted to be there just as much as Taehyung. It had felt good at that moment, had helped relieve a lot of his stress and Sujeong understood that. But he didn't expect to have the sudden desire to evaporate when Jeongguk had knocked on the door, having found Taehyung in such a compromising situation. The look Jeongguk had given him, Taehyung still doesn't understand, but he knows that he had just destroyed any small flicker of hope of rekindling what little of a relationship they had.
"Kim Taehyung, you are the worst ," he groans, thumping his head against the dining table. He'd been sitting there, stewing in his own shame for the past hour, wondering what he could do to fix this goddamn mess without shoving his whole foot in his mouth again.
So he takes a deep breath and stands up. He'd waited until night time because he knows Jeongguk would most likely be sleeping all day. And the last thing he wants is an aggravated, sleep-deprived Jeongguk on his hands.
"You can do this, Taehyung," he reminds himself, squaring his shoulders as he presses the all-too-familiar doorbell to Jeongguk's apartment. He stands there for about a minute, heartbeat progressively getting faster, anxiety growing tenfold, and is about to leave, when Jeongguk opens the door.
Jeongguk looks surprisingly put together for someone who looked like he was going to incinerate Taehyung with his eyes just that morning. His face is blank, passive, the picture of cool indifference, and Taehyung is almost... disappointed.
Maybe a little part of him had hoped that Jeongguk might have been jealous. He feels foolish the moment the thought crosses his mind.
"You're not supposed to microwave styrofoam, Taehyung ssi," Jeongguk deadpans, and Taehyung frowns in confusion.
"I-- What? Why would you--" He looks incredulously at the younger man, who just looks bored.
"I just assumed you needed more advice considering your inability to perform the most basic of domestic tasks," Jeongguk shrugs. "If there's nothing else I can do, then good night." He goes to close the door.
"Wait!" Taehyung yelps. Jeongguk looks up with an eyebrow raised. "That's not why I-I came,"
He gulps, taking a deep breath and reminding himself of his original mission.
"I-I'm sorry about this morning."
Jeongguk's face twitches into a sneer. "Why?"
"Sujeong is just a friend, Jeongguk. It's not anything serious, we just--"
Taehyung is cut off by a derisive laugh. Jeongguk's lips are curved in an amused smile and he tucks his hands into his pants pockets.
"Why are you telling me this?"
Why am I telling him this?
"I just-- I didn't want there to be any... misunderstandings," Taehyung says slowly. He's on high alert now, afraid he might say something wrong and get the door slammed in his face.
Jeongguk chuckles in amusement, but it comes out sinister. "Misunderstanding? What is there to misunderstand?"
Taehyung opens his mouth but he doesn't know how to respond. Jeongguk continues. "The way I see it, Taehyung ssi, is that your personal life is your own. It has nothing to do with me."
But I want it to be. Taehyung doesn't say this as his face flushes hot. "Who you decide to sleep with is none of my concern." And of course, what Jeongguk says is completely true, but somewhere in the back of Taehyung's mind he had hoped that maybe Jeongguk did care.
"You didn't actually think I cared, did you?"
Taehyung is starting to regret ever knocking on
Jeongguk's door. "Did you expect me to be jealous?" It had been a stupid idea, and he wonders why he's even trying to get close to Jeongguk in the first place, when all Jeongguk ever does is talk to him like every word passed between them is an inconvenience.
But deep down inside, Taehyung knows it's just a defense. He knows Jeongguk isn't like this.He'd seen the younger man's capacity for kindness and love in so many different ways. But the moment Jeongguk is alone with Taehyung, the walls go up, his voice becomes ice. He longs for the day when Jeongguk might look at him with the same smile he had when they were younger.
Right now, it feels like some sort of nightmare that Taehyung has found himself stuck in, and he doesn't know when the universe will have mercy on him and let him wake up.
"Like I said, Taehyung ssi. You are the last person on earth I would ever sleep with. So don't worry about explaining yourself."
And that's the final straw. "You've made that quite clear, Jeongguk ssi," he snaps, and it makes Jeongguk blink in surprise. "What I don't understand is why it's you who keeps bringing that up. I certainly didn't say anything. Why would you even assume I want to sleep with you?"
Jeongguk is completely silent and Taehyung can feel the air around them turn frigid. But he can't seem to care much, because as much as he wants to gain Jeongguk's trust again, as much as he wants to earn his forgiveness, he's not going to do it by being humiliated and put down. There's only so much he's willing to put up with.
"I feel like in you moving here, Taehyung ssi, things have crossed more than a few boundaries," Jeongguk's voice is even, detached, and Taehyung wished the man would just be mad for once. Yell at him, be angry, do something to show that he cares, but he always acts like he couldn't care less and that hurts Taehyung the most because Taehyung cares so much. But there's only so much getting stomped on for the sake of forgiveness he's willing to put up with.
"Perhaps so." If this is the game Jeongguk's created, Taehyung doesn't want to play anymore. "I suggest limiting any further communication to our assistants."
"I agree," is Jeongguk's clipped response.
"Good," Taehyung says frigidly.
"Good," Jeongguk shoots back.
"Fine," Taehyung snaps.
"Fine," Jeongguk hisses, but Taehyung is already turning around and heading into his own home
before he can get the door slammed in his face.
😭😭😭😭😭
