When He Came

Chapter 43

Vanessa's POV

"Hey," I say to James, pulling a chair back and sitting with him at the table. "Hey," he says. "You want anything to drink?" he asks me. "No thanks," I decline his offer. It's kind of weird. I've never really had a full conversation with James, only short ones when he is with Evan.

He nods and than the waitress comes to bring James his coffee. He smiles at her and takes a sip of his drink. "Isn't that really hot?" I ask, wondering how he can drink warm coffee without burning his mouth. He slightly smiles before bringing the cup to my nose so that I can smell it. "How did you get that?" I ask. "I know that waitress, plus I think I need to be a little drunk to tell you the story about Amber," he responds.

I look at him with a confused look. "What is it about Amber that you can't tell me, being sober?" I ask. "Vanessa, first I want to make sure that you know that this was a long time ago and I want to ask you to not look at Evan, me, or any of the other involved people any differently than you do now." I just nod in response and wait for him to continue. "You sure you want to hear it?" he ask, I just nod again, impatiently waiting for the story. He takes a large sip from his drink, before starting to tell me everything.

"It was in eight grade," he starts. "We were still kids, we didn't know what we were doing. Back then, Evan, Travis, Jake, me and David we were always together, just like now, but without David. We were kind of mean, you would say that we were bullies, but I think that's exaggerated." It's weird imagining David and Evan being close friends. Those two hate each other and that's just putting it lightly. "But let's just go straight to the point," he says and I nod. "So, Amber, she was in our class, we always teased her a lot, not bullied, but she wasn't really loved by us. Despite all we did to her, she had a huge crush on Evan." He slightly chuckles, probably thinking back of the memory. "Was Amber his girlfriend?" I ask him, my voice small. "No, she wasn't, absolutely not," he says, his smile slowly fading. "She was kind of a stalker. She was so in love with Evan that she had everything over for him. It may seem cliché, but that's the pure truth." I keep listening carefully, remembering every detail. What could Amber have done that was so bad? She made herself throw up, like I do... Did. But that was already obvious.

"Amber tried everything to get Evan's attention, she did the most crazy things, like making herself throw up, like you... Did. She wanted to be perfect for him. One day she came to school and Evan and I noticed that she had a lot of scratches on her arm. We later found out that she cut herself. Evan went to her and said that cutting herself, wasn't going to get his attention. She stopped after Evan said it, thinking that he cared about her enough to make her stop doing it. A few weeks passed and Amber kept following Evan like a little dog, still crazy about him. One day he was tired of it, so tired that he went talking to her. He told her that he would never be with her, that he would care about her and that he certainly wasn't in love with her. She kept crying hearing his words, saying that if he didn't love her anyway, she didn't want to live anymore."

He suddenly stops and then looks away. He takes a deep breath and I feel like I already know what he's gonna tell me next. "Evan said that if she killed herself, he wouldn't care about her anyway. He thought she was just bluffing," he says, his voice hurt, I guess. "But what we didn't know is that Amber was suicidal. She killed herself a few days later."

I keep staring at James, chocked of what I just heard. I was expecting something bad, but not this. This is the last thing I expected. This is horrible. Pour Amber, love just destroyed her, literarily. She was in love with him, my Evan. The guy who I love deeply and unconditionally. The guy who I never saw anything bad in. He broke her heart and she killed herself. It takes time to process everything into my head. I'm trying to keep some tears from falling and I thankfully succeed.