Two of a Kind | Wanda Maximoff

Chapter 27: "[Groan] You know, Life?"

Like always, the ride on the Quinjet was boring, and while she was physically exhausted, Claire was antsy and bored. Her leg bounced up and down as she looked around for something to do. Her eyes landed to her bag on the floor under one of the chairs on the other side of the jet. She stood up and went over to her bag, opening it and pulling out her phone and earbuds. She wasn't sure what she was going to watch, but it would probably be what she watched whenever she was bored; John Mulaney's comedy specials on Netflix. She loved John Mulaney and was probably his biggest fan. She knew all his jokes and could quote them whenever she wanted, though she didn't want to brag. 

Walking back to her seat next to Wanda, she plugged her earbuds in and opened up the Netflix app. Putting in the right earbud, she looked over to Wanda, holding out the left one. Wanda smiled and took it, putting it in her ear. 

"What are you putting on?" Wanda asked, tilting her head curiously. 

"John Mulaney," Claire answered. 

"Who?" Claire froze and whipped her head towards Wanda. 

"What did you just say?" 

"I...don't know who that is," Wanda said. 

"He's a comedian and he's really funny. Trust me, you'll like him." Wanda nodded, trusting her. Claire scrolled through her watchlist until she came to his third special: New in Town. Personally, she liked Comeback Kid the most, but if Wanda was going to watch, she needed to start with the first one. 

The video started, and immediately, a parody of a '90s sitcom theme song started playing, introducing the show. 

"New in town. John Mulaney's New in Town," John Mulaney popped into the frame with a hot dog, spilling mustard all over himself. "He's spilling mustard on his shirt. He's got some papers to deliver, but oh no!" The scene changed to a newspaper headline that reads, "John Mulaney is a Great Architect" and John made an "all right" motion with his fist. "He's successful, and he's got so many crazy friends! Ooh, new in town, John Mulaney's New in Town!" The shot changed to violet background and John Mulaney stepped foot on the stage, wearing a light gray suit. Claire was already laughing, while Wanda sat looking a little confused. 

"Hi! Hi! Hello!" John greeted the crowd with a cartoonish grin on his face. The crowd cheered happily for him. When the audience calmed down a little, he spoke again. "Thank you very much. Thank you very much. That's so nice of you, I hope you're having a good week, thank you for being here! I, uh, am doing well myself. In a couple days I'm gonna turn 29 years old and I'm very excited about that. I was hoping, uh, by now that I would look older but that didn't happen." 

Claire laughed along with the audience in the video. 

"I don't look older, I just look worse, I think. Honestly, when I'm walking down the street, no one's ever like, 'Hey, look at that man!' I think they're just like 'Whoa! That tall child looks terrible!' He slowly turned his head with a shocked expression to pantomime someone looking at him walk by and Claire and the audience laughed. "'Get some rest, tall child! You can't keep burning the candle at both ends!'" 

The video continued, and Claire roared and howled with laughter at each and every joke, but Wanda just watched her rather than the show, a dreamy glint in her eyes. The corners of her mouth turned upwards into a content smile as she studied Claire's face. When she laughed, her nose crinkled and her cheeks turned a bright pink. Her ears would wiggle just a little, barely noticeable if not paid attention to and her eyes would glow a deep violet. Her loose red curls bounced just the tiniest bit and every so often, she would snort while she laughed, which caused Wanda to smile more. Only once did Claire caught Wanda staring. Wanda looked down at the phone and watched the video, her cheeks turning a red.