ridicule

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The puddles of leftover rain
creates portals to the next field
You say you're trying to help but honestly
You rip my confidence to shreds
Like I wish I could rip my heart out of my chest
And place it on a gold dish
Hand it to you and wish for the knife to fall faster
But what breaks it isn't a knife, not a dagger nor words
Nor my friends leaving nor having no friends at all
What breaks it is the look in your eyes
You look as if you're going to say "your dad would be disappointed"
Worse than a knife and worse than a dagger
Stop commenting on things that make me smile
Stop ruling over my life and calling it parenting
Stop taking my heart and nailing it to a gold plate
Clawing and clawing til everything I am is out on display
I am not a party trick
My juggling is the only time I can truly breathe
and not feel pressed against a gold plate
Not a thing to show to your friends
Stop showing me a knife but swinging a feeling
But, as if just to spite you, a smile comes easy to my lips
The light comes easy to my eyes
I will jump through the puddles and dance in the fields beyond

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