Mario Cart Shenanigans

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Bullet Bill's Dream
Everyone wants him, but he doesn't want them.
When they are in the lead they call for him to get an extra boost.
When they are last they desperately call wishing to use him to catch up.
But Bullet Bill doesn't want to be Bullet Bill anymore, he wants to be Bill. He wants to be normal. He wants to sit in the race and not be an item; but alas, he knows that this dream can never come true. So he will always be Bullet Bill the item.

Blue Shell
You're in the lead, look at you! Oh look a blue shell... OH SHIT A BLUE SHELL!!!! You're in last place, look at you! Oh look it's Bullet Bill... ITS BULLET BILL WE ARE SAVED!!!!
...
Aaaaaaand you fell of the map.

Tilt Controls
You and your controller follow the road in a dance.
To the left, to the right, to the right, to the left, flying, falling, Lakitu is holding you, back on the road. Oh look you fell again. Please stop falling and get to the finish line. The race has been over for five minutes and your only on the second lap!

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