Tortured Awakening (Book #1)

Chapter One

(Photo of Cordelia on side)

I was never meant to be alive. 

It's a fact, not some cold- hearted opinion that I stumbled across.

I came to the conclusion that dying before you're meant to live must have an unfortunate fate, if you break past it.

Afterall, when the world has decided you are not meant to be, but you survive anyway, then the world is now adjusting to your presence. 

I was born close to midnight, on the thirteenth of November .

The year was 1892 and my birth alone made me trouble.

My mother was told she would get possibly two days at the most with me; being born months in advance can do that.

It was that reason alone that my mother decided to avoid any chance of attachment to me, which she handled a little too well.

I might as well have been born dead.

However one day turned into a week and then that week transitioned into a month.

Everyone continued to anticipate my untimely death, so the help mostly took care of me.

In the end, it took nearly fourteen months for my mother to accept that I was in fact alive and well.

I suppose that is better than nothing, when you think about it.

My father on the other hand had little concern on the matter. He was just glad he wouldn't have to lose money on a funeral.

Money meant a great deal to my father. I guess that's why he was so eager to take over the bank, once my grandfather passed. He treated any other job as though it were beneath him.

To him, money was the absolute key to happiness. If you have more money, you have more happiness.

I believe that money was also the deciding factor regarding his marriage to my mother. The wedding was rushed, once she came of age.

He treated her like an accessory for his arm, dazzling against him and meant to be seen, not heard.

As far as I know, the upper class is meant to be that way.

My mother fell victim to it as well. She'd do anything for him.

She mainly stays indoors at home, except when father needs us all for events and so forth.

She admitted to me once that she had dreams of becoming a teacher, but that was out of the question, especially once she found herself married to a banker.

She was always doing what was best for father and their lifestyle. Anything to make them happier and life easier.

I wasn't their only child, so if I were to die, they'd have a legacy to live on.

There was Elijah, who was reaching twenty-four; then my younger sister, Rowena, who was twelve.

They were all more accustomed to the rising expectations and needs to be fulfilled.

I felt more like a black sheep among them all. They supplied lies to our society in order to create lives that impressed the fools that we associated with.

"Always be ahead of the others" my father used to tell Elijah and I, during our studies.

I'm almost eighteen now and I am fixing to embark on the courtship ritual. In other words, I was officially available for marriage and would soon be sold to the highest bidder.