You On Me

XIV

After I told her everything, from the start wherein the man who helped me was a gang boss up to the recent event that happened, which is about the car that I had out of the blue. She was in a daze, her mouth slightly agape as she stood there, staring at nowhere, while I'm getting anxious in my seat.

I don't want her to leave me.

"Sana," I called her and that made her bring to reality, or that's what I thought. She looked at me with a blank expression on her face. Her face is void of emotions and that made my thoughts scatter everywhere. She isn't saying anything.

What would be her reaction? What would she say? Would she leave me and run far away? Is she even thinking of running away?

"Sana!" I called her out again and this time, it was louder and a little aggressive. I stood up and held her forearms. "If you're afraid of me now and you're thinking of running away, cut that shit off because I would never let you leave me." I sounded like I was obsessed with her, but I just can't let go of her easily. She's one of the important people in my life and if she left me, part of me will be gone too.

"What are you talking about? I would never do that, Y/N." She lets me get lost in her eyes as she said those words. I kept quiet as I want to know more about her reaction to it. She noticed it and sighed.

"I was... just surprised. I never thought that the man you talked about before is a gang boss and he helped you exchange of being part of his gang, doing some shit that I don't even want to know." She cupped my cheeks before her hands caressed down on my neck, shoulders, arms until she arrived at her destination which is my hands, and held it tightly.

"I'm sorry. Did I make you anxious? You know I would never leave you, Y/N. Where the hell would I go if I did? Don't tell me you didn't think that I would end up in the streets if I fucking leave you? The money I earned isn't enough for me to live independently." She intertwined her hands with mine and squeezed them. That made me lively again. I felt relieved and my chest feels lighter at her assurance. I was so into thinking of her leaving me that I never thought of it carefully.

"Y/N... you basically adopted me. When I told you my parents died and I got no one, you made me stay with you without any hesitation. You bought me clothes, made sure I'm not hungry, made me go back to high school. You wasted your money on me and you think I'm going to leave you just because you're in a gang? You sure are thinking a lot." She chuckled and pulled me into her arms.

I didn't think that it would be easy. I was so ready to do everything to make her stay with me. After all the lies I told her, after a lot of effort of changing the topic whenever she brings my work up, and after the secret I kept from her was finally out, I felt much happier. I felt better that I don't have to hide it anymore. I'm finally free. I wasn't thinking positively, therefore I wasn't thinking this would be the aftermath once I told her.

Damn, Ahn Y/N. You need to think positively from now on. You shouldn't think stupidly and now you feel embarrassed? Dumb ass...

"Did you feel insecure?" I nodded. She removed herself from the hug and guided me to sit. She faced me and asked me with curious eyes and a pouty mouth of hers. "Why?"

Her lips are so tempting, but this isn't the right time to thirst for her.

"I don't want you to leave me. You're the only friend who stayed with me, the only one who contacted me ever since we ran away. I wouldn't be able to keep my sane if you did."

"That sounds ambiguous."

I was confused. "Huh?" What did she mean by that? Isn't it already clear that I don't want her to be away from me?

"Nothing. Is that all?"

I nodded slowly, hesitant. "What do you want me to say?" She just shrugged her shoulders and looked away from my stare. She looked deep in thought. I guess my identity bothered her that much.

"Have you... you know? Killed... someone?"

"Yeah... a few," I muttered. She clearly heard it and stiffened after. "Sana, I wouldn't hurt you, okay? I don't know if you've noticed it, but I've been protecting you since you started living with me, especially when you started working." She turned her attention on me and she was taken aback, her eyes widened at my confession.

"R-Really? How?"

"I did a lot, Sana." I chortled. "When we were still in high school, I beat everyone who derisive you because you don't have a family. That's why your school life was kind of peaceful after a few months or less while I was busy dirtying their faces with blood and bruises during that time."

"Wow..."

I laughed at her baffled face. "Second, when you started working, do you know why I fetch you at the club every day even I know you'll be fine with yourself and even if I'm tired? It's because I want you to get home safe and to make sure that there aren't creeps wandering around you."

"Is it also why Yujin taught me self defense? You ordered her?" I nodded, smiling. "Holy shit. I remembered that one time when a creep tried fucking with me. I kicked his ass but, not gonna lie, that made me wanna cry. Yujin was so worried when she saw me at the door."

"Oh!" I exclaimed as I remembered that. "That was me. I defied you to fight, so I know how would you act just in case a real creep charged towards you. Your kick between my legs hurt though."

"You bitch!" She shouted and showered me with slaps. "Do you know how that shit traumatized me?! And I know how much you cared about me but that was too much! You hurt yourself!"

"Ow! Calm down! That wasn't that painful if you compared it when I got shot!" She stopped and pushed me harshly, making me fall on my back and have contact with the couch. She laid down on top of me and buried her face on my neck, her hand on my shoulder.

Moments like this always caught me off guard! This 'started-from-bickering-and-ending-heartwarming' agenda! I wouldn't get used to this and would never! The way my heart reacts, the way it beats faster when she invaded my personal space and clung onto me, the way I like her trapped in my arms, the way I like teasing her just to see her laugh and smile and hear her high-pitched voice made me realize that I'm falling for her.

Her irresistible charm worked on me. I fell for it.

Sounds cliché but I like my best friend.