My Hot And Sexy But Also Slightly Disturbing Story With The Mafia Man

1) Oh you're actually gonna read this?

It's called clickbait motherfuckers.

Now read my book you horny fucks!!!

I sprayed some water onto the floor and swiped the wet mop over the baby barf.

"Anything else?" I asked the couple after cleaning their baby's mess.

"Just the bill please." I handed them the bill. The lady grabbed the book, signed, threw in some cash and handed it back to me. I immediately snapped open the book.

"Five freakin dollars? Seriously?" I slammed the book shut.

"That's all the cash I have on me-"

"I cleaned your dumb baby's vomit!" I pointed to the blob of fat sitting in a baby chair. "I want atleast ten!"

"We have to go now..." the stingy lady got up and began to leave.

"Don't run away from me!" I chased after the couple that was now up and hurrying for the exit, "You cheapskates!"

"Malia!" Simon, the cashier guy, called, "It's time to lock up."

I sighed and let the greedy woman escape. I'd get her next time. I locked up the cafè and tidied the place up a bit.

"Here's this week's paycheck." Simon threw an envelope on the table I was cleaning at. I wiped my hands down on my apron, opened the envelope and sighed.

"Simon, could we talk?" I ran my hands down the back of my skirt. "Look, I know this really isn't your call, but I just can't live off of twenty dollars a week anymore. Do you think I could get a raise?"

"Malia, I'm the boss' son, not the boss. I can't make that decision. Besides, times are tough at the cafè right now."

"But I have rent to pay, student loans. This isn't enough," I held up the envelope.

"Ask your roommate to cover for you."

"She already covered me for four months and I still haven't paid her back." I looked at him sadly. "Please."

"I'm sorry but we just can't afford it right now." He locked the cashier and straightened his glasses. He had the round type. Kind of like Harry Potter. It was cute. Nerdy cute. I may or may not have a crush on him. "I have to go. I have class. Lock up the back for me, will ya?" I nodded. I gathered all my shit and left the cafè.

I got to my apartment and opened the mail box thing and grabbed whatever was in there. I skimmed through the pile of documents- rent bill, electricity bill and more shit I can't afford. I sighed and locked the box.

"Hey there, fiorellini." Paulo, our building's superintendent said. He's a sweet old guy. Quite short and stubby. Probably in his fifties or sixties. He always said I reminded him of his daughter.

"Hey Paulo," I smiled weakly.

"What makes you sad, sunshine?"

"Oh you know, I'm poor and can't afford to pay for anything. Just the usual."

"You need money, no?" He leaned onto the mop handle he propped next to him.

"Well it would be nice." I murmured, shoving the mail into my knapsack.

"You know, my nephew, he very big business man. Have lot money."

"Oh really? What's that like?"

"I tell you, I speak with him. He give you money."

"Really? You'd do that for me?" My eyes lit up.

"Yes yes very much. But, we don't talk much. His papa and I... we not on good terms... not ever since..." he suddenly gasped like he almost revealed that his brother was some druglord... or something. "Oh no! I've said too much!"

"You haven't said enough," I mumbled.

"I get you money. You be happy now. No worry."

I hugged the short grandpa tightly, "Thank you, Paulo."

I had classes the next day so I didn't do a shift at the cafè. I got home at about three pm. Diana, my roomate was on the couch watching Game of Thrones.

"This again, seriously?" I groaned.

"Oh some mail came for you. It's on the kitchen counter." I grabbed the envelope on the counter. On it was, written in big black ink, Pay me back in three months.

I tore open the envelope. "Holy shit," I muttered under my breath. In the envelope was probably over five thousand dollars. This was definitely enough to pay for the rent, electricity and student loans.

Oh and also those electric heater gloves I've always wanted to buy.

❈ ❈ ❈

Hello my fellow mafia comedy parody steamy book lover peoples.

I know this chapter is boring. I can promise you, the next, however, is not. Nor is the following. And the one after that either. It honestly just gets better from here.

SO DON'T CLICK OFF YET!

Give me and my pile of shit a chance :)

Also, I am fully aware I'm not the best writer. I really suck at this. Especially describing expressions I have no idea how to do that. But we're here for fun and laughs so...

Don't judge me too hard😚