Diary scars (unofficially 'will you be my diary?' )

chapter 9

I woke to a splintering head ache, the hit of the hangover bashed my head in from all the alcohol I had likely consumed last night. The only problem was if I said anything or did something I'd soon regret. I looked around the room, my room, and saw my heels laying splayed across the floor. I lifted myself slightly to peer down at what I was wearing. I still wore my emerald dress and my hair was in messy curls from the night before, I should never have drunk that amount of alcohol.

I stood and walked up to my mirror and looked over myself. What the hell happened to me last night, I remember running into Daniel and him catching me, the running off for a drink and my first few shots of alcohol. I walked over to my bed and free fell into the comfy warmth of the blanket, only to land on something hard. I rummaged around the material until I saw the culprit, my normal looking mint pastel diary. I sat up and picked it up, but when I picked it up my pen fell out and so did a note. I picked up the note. It read,

Hey there sexy, had so much fun dancing last night, give me a call, you have my number <3 - M.L.B

I looked over the note with curiosity, who the hell was M.L.B? And why did he leave me a note, specifically saying to call him, and saying how I danced with him last night. Dancing, dancing, I danced last night? Geez, alcohol really does loosen you up. At that thought, I was quick to open my diary to the page the note had fallen out of. I looked at the writing diary entry and almost screamed.

September 21st 2019,

OMFG, what a night, the music was loud and pumping like blood through my veins, the alcohol was so delightful that I just kept on having more and more. I danced with Teagann for most of the time until an unknown sexy man came up to me and asked to dance. I basically dragged him onto the dance floor and began to dance away. Holy rutting hell Morgan Limon Brookes asked me to dance and he was so good at it, we parted ways after a few songs with his mobile number in hand and I went back to the kitchen to fix myself a drink. Daniel came in on me with an almost empty bottle of vodka and snatched it away from me, like who does that? Then he had the audacity to tip it all down the sink.

I of course snapped at him, I was just trying to loosen up and forget the memories that had hit me when I first walked in. after our encounter I went back to dancing with Teagann as song changed to song and the minutes ticked by. It was so fun until I heard shouts and saw Alle and some bitch getting it on with words, whatever they were saying, I couldn't hear. I dragged Teagann with me and stopped in between the girl Alle named as Megan and Alle herself.

I remember yelling at Megan and asking what was going on, with a few colourful words, may I add, but Megan had the guts to try and insult Alle by calling her ugly and then trying to recruit me to the 'Beauties'. And when I turned her down rather bluntly, she snapped. Then I snapped. I said that she had spent too much time up her ass to see how hideous she was, she retorted with something that struck me rather deep, she commented on my scars and how my dad was in jail, she also said how my dad had most probably tried to kill me in my sleep because I was too ugly for him to look at, and then she commented on Alle's sexuality, like seriously, what kind of bitch does that? I thought even she would know better.

But then she really made me snap my tether on control when she said she'd go visit my mum at her grave. I just lost it, I completely snapped, giving her a knuckle sandwich in the nose, the room had fallen silent enough for me to hear the crunch and crack of her nose breaking. That's when everyone started chanting the 'fight, fight, fight.' when Megan swung at me, I just dodged and dragged Alle with me.

Later that night Alle and I sat, me with a half empty vodka bottle and Alle just trying to pry it away from me. To no advil, but she tried, it was only when she got the bottle out of my grasp did Daniel, Vanessa and Immogen show up. Commenting on my huge alcohol consumption and saying I'd had enough, like hell. I think I would know when I needed to stop.

Then they killed my fun, and me and my big mouth just couldn't wait to open it and drop a huge bomb on them.

"My dad liked killing fun too." I had said, and once that comment was out, my lips couldn't stay shut, words that I'd kept a secret from everyone just came spilling out.

I think I said how my father killed my mother from beating her to death and how he used to come home drunk and have some fun with his baseball bat. I soundly like an upbeat child while saying, and I remember telling Alle how I'd go visit my dad in prison to ask him what his favourite drink was. Alle's appalled face just hit me somewhere deep, a place I tried to keep locked up.

I remember Daniel's and Vanessa's shocked faces when I had spilled a few of my confidential secrets, and saw Alle's shocked face as she disgraced me before pulling me up and tugging me away. I think she tried to drown me afterwards, well I mean, she poured a shit ton of water down my throat against my will, almost like she was water-boarding me. You know, the torture thing you always see in movies where the bad guy puts the victim on a chair or table and puts a cloth over their mouth before lifting a huge jug of water to their mouth, and of course another baddy holding their nose so they had no choice but to breath through the water filled mouths.

But the thing that made me the most saddened was the looks on Vanessa and Daniel's face when Alle dragged me down the street and towards home, Vanessa's tears were one of the last things that I remember from that night, apart from seeing Ihzhak in the lounge waiting up for us and the demanding tone promising we'd talk about this in the morning.

- Bye for now, you precious thing, Kimarrah

Sometimes, I just wish I could shoot myself, this is definitely one of those times. As I screamed into my pillow, I saw my door open and close and heard the footsteps coming towards my bed.

"Well, it looks like someone is regretting so much alcohol." I heard Ihzhak's voice boom through my ears as loud as the bass speakers last night.

"Oh, fuck off." I said in a muffled tone through the pillow.

"And much more colourful too, must have been some shit to make you take this photo." Ihzhak said, I could hear a whole lot of mirth in his voice that made me shoot upwards.

"What?" I half yelled at him, my sense of hearing still a little off from all the music glaring last night.