Some Day | Wolfstar

Thirty-two

Sirius was aglow with happiness when he returned to the common room. Remus and James were waiting for him, asleep on a plush couch by the fire. Sirius smiled at the sight of the two boys so dear to him.

Remus woke up when he heard Sirius. James slung an arm around him in his sleep. Sirius raised an eyebrow. Blushing, Remus gently removed James from on top of him.

"Hey, Prongs," he called, shaking James, who woke up with a groan. He looked at Sirius and his mouth fell open. "Sirius I swear it's not what it looks like... it was... it was a one time thing I swear... I can explain!" He grabbed Sirius' hands. Sirius smacked the back of his head while Remus burst out laughing.

"That's for being a dramatic little shit," Sirius grinned. He smacked James again. "And that's for trying to steal my man."

James choked. "Your man? Fuck me," he breathed.

"Uh... no thanks, mate. Ask Lily." Sirius squeezed in between them, "Actually... don't ask Lily."

They started laughing again. When they quieted down, Remus brushed Sirius' hair back. Humming, Sirius laid his head on Remus' lap. "Hey, I claimed you first!" James grinned, pulling Sirius' legs on to his lap and removing his black boots.

Sirius wiggled his toes. "Take the socks off as well," he ordered, closing his eyes. James sighed. "Yeah, yeah, the boyfriend gets to kiss him, but the best friend has to do the dirty work," he mumbled, but pulled the socks off of Sirius' feet anyway.

"You look happy," Remus said softly, fingers unable to remove themselves from Sirius' thick curls. Sirius peeled his eyes open, and gave him a lazy smile. He looked sleepy. And dreamy. And beautiful. Remus caught himself.

"We found a cure," Sirius said, eyes sparkling as he smiled up at Remus. "What? For real?" James asked, voice thin with excitement. Sirius nodded. "It was an accident, really. Severus will brew another potion, we ran out. And then, we can get Regulus back."

Remus smiled down at Sirius, hands gently working on his hair. "Merlin, that's amazing, Sirius. I'm so happy. I can't wait to talk to Regulus again," he whispered.

Sirius' smile faltered a little. "Yeah, we're gonna have a very serious talk." He didn't realise the pun.

James giggled. Sirius looked at him, half glaring, which made Remus burst into laughter.

"What?" Sirius asked, exasperated.

"All this time, we've been trying to get you to stop using your name as a pun and... and now it just flew right over your head," Remus laughed.

Sirius gasped loudly, a hand over his chest. "What's... What's happening to me? Remus, Remus I don't feel very good," he whispered, clutching Remus' hand. Remus laughed again, and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

"I think you just need sleep," he smiled. Sirius pouted. "No... I kinda want a smoke..."

Remus and James looked at each other. "I'll come with you," Remus said. Sirius shrugged. He moved his legs for James to stand up. "Where are you going to go?"

"Astronomy Tower." Sirius jumped to his feet. Remus got up as well. "Good night, guys. And Remus, please don't get Sirius pregnant," James grinned, earning two very harsh glares from his friends.

***

Remus gently removed the cigarette from Sirius' fingers. Sirius went to protest, but stopped himself when Remus raised it to his lips and took a long drag.

"Moony..." Sirius frowned.

Remus hummed in response, and took a second drag before handing the cigarette back to Sirius.

"Didn't know you smoked," Sirius mumbled, taking a drag.

"I don't. Not like you, anyway," Remus replied.

They were sitting on the railing of the semicircular balcony. Remus with his back rested against the wall, both legs up on the railing and Sirius with both his legs dangling outside, body turned at the waist to face Remus.

Sirius chucked the cigarette but away, watching as the darkness swallowed it. He sighed. Remus pulled his legs inside of the railing, and moved closer to Sirius.

They leaned against each other, facing opposite ways. Sirius looking out into the endless night, and Remus at the cold stone wall of the Tower.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked. Sirius sighed. A long, sad sigh. He then rested his head on Remus' shoulder.

"I don't know... everything."

Remus gently kissed his hair. "Tell me, Pads."

"I love you," Sirius whispered. He raised his head, looked Remus in the eye and repeated himself, "I love you."

Remus kissed his forehead. "I love you."

And silence fell. It was a heavy silence, tugging at Remus' heart. "Talk to me, love."

Sirius placed his head back on his shoulder. "Everything... feels so heavy sometimes," he finally said. Remus turned his head to kiss his hair again. He didn't say anything, just waited for Sirius to continue. He didn't want him to cry, but Sirius had to talk. Anyone could tell that he was not okay.

"I don't know if I want to be here anymore," he whispered. Remus' heart clenched. He reached for Sirius' hand. "I don't even... I don't know why it happens when it does, Remus. It just... it just happens, with no precedent. No warning. One minute I'm happy and feeling loved, and the next I just want to... to..." Sirius caught himself.

Maybe I'm saying too much...

Silence fell again, heavy and ugly around them. Screaming in their ears. Sirius closed his eyes. "At home... when I went-" he choked on his words. Remus kissed the top of his head again.

"Mother had blasted my name from the family tree. Father didn't speak to me either. And Regulus... Regulus didn't... he didn't even look at me, Remus. Couldn't even spare a glance my way." Sirius squeezed Remus' hand.

"I'm not really living for myself," Sirius whispered. It was a dagger in Remus' heart. "I'd rather live for... for you. And James. And Regulus." Remus felt tears burn in the back of his eyes.

How did it ever come to this?

"I love you," he choked out, not knowing what to say. He leaned back to find Sirius' lips, kissing him with an urgency that burned Sirius' insides. Sirius reached for his cheeks, desperate for more of him. Remus shifted ever so slightly. He felt a sudden jerk, and pulled away. Sirius had lost his balance.

Just out of reflex, his arm shot out to grab Sirius. He used his other hand to grip the railing, steadying them on the precarious edge.

"Fuck," Remus cursed, pulling Sirius back. Sirius clung to him as he hopped off the railing, dragging him back to safety. "Bloody hell, Sirius," he gasped, pulling Sirius into his arms. He was shaking.

"I'm here, I'm okay." Sirius tried hard to hide the tremor in his voice.

He pulled Remus down to kiss him, hands on his cheeks. Remus held him by the waist, embracing the warmth of his body, pressed against his own.

Sirius was there. Sirius was okay.

***

Author's Note

Is anyone reading this book?

Edit : Hey I asked that question back when I had no visible readers.. so you guys don't have to tell me that you're here ♡
Keep on reading, I hope you enjoy xx