Some Day | Wolfstar

Sixty-three

Sirius knocked on Regulus' door, his heart heavy. "Who is it?" Regulus called from inside. "It's me. Sirius."

The door opened. "Come on in," Regulus moved to let him in, and shut the door. "You can sit," he gestured to the bed. Sirius sat down, and pat the mattress next to him. Regulus joined him there.

"If you're here to convince me not to go, you're only going to waste your time," Regulus said, careful not to sound angry. He looked at Sirius' trembling hands. Sirius was wearing some of Orion's old black robes. They made him look like a prince.

Sirius didn't say anything.

"I know you did it for me," Regulus said softly. Sirius looked at him. "Do you know why mother doesn't hex you left and right? It's because they think that you didn't tell the Malfoys about the ring for the sake of our family," he sighed. "But I know you did it to protect me."

"I won't let them hurt you, Reg," Sirius said. Regulus wanted to ask whom he meant by them.

"I can protect myself," he said softly. Sirius looked hurt. "You can't live your whole life looking out for me, Siri," Regulus said. He found himself overwhelmed by a sudden and all-consuming sadness.

"I didn't know that mother Crucio-ed you," he wanted to cry. "You always took the blame for everything and I never even said thank you." Regulus didn't try to stop his tears now. He let them fall. Sirius wouldn't mind.

Crying is for the weak.

But Sirius would never say that. He wouldn't even think that. 

"It's okay, hey," Sirius said gently, pulling Regulus into his arms. It was as if his warmth pulled a lever inside Regulus. He let out a soft sob and curled into his brother, crying into his neck.

"No, no it's not, I..." Regulus gasped, "I'm so sorry. They hurt you so much but I never even noticed, did I? You were so alone and I didn't even-"

"Regulus, no," Sirius whispered, arms tight around Regulus. "You have nothing to be sorry for." Sirius kissed his warm forehead, the way he had done so many times when they were younger.

"You kept me alive," Sirius' voice couldn't rise above a whisper. He didn't want to cry in front of Regulus. "I did it for you. No one mattered to me like you did."

Regulus cried harder at that. How could he say that? How could Sirius bear to love him so much?

"I should've stood up for you," he cried softly. His tears left hot trails on his cheeks. "I should've done something, I'm so-"

"Don't you dare say you're sorry," Sirius rubbed his back. "You were a child, Regulus. We both were."

He didn't try to make Regulus stop crying. Sometimes, crying really did heal. "Will you sleep here?" Regulus asked after some time, his voice thick after all the tears. Sirius nodded his head. Regulus crawled to the other end of the bed. Sirius kicked his boots off, got under the covers and blew the candles out.

"Remus really cares about you, doesn't he?" Regulus said after a while. He had taken Remus' lycanthropy with surprising calmness. Sirius smiled in the dark. "He does," he said, rolling to his side to pull Regulus into his chest. He couldn't help grinning when he added, "I guess you could say... he's a carewolf."

Regulus snuggled up to him immediately, shoulders shaking with laughter. It felt like they were small boys again, crying and laughing and holding each other. Regulus hadn't let himself miss Sirius. It had hurt too much. But now that Sirius was there, Regulus couldn't help but realise how much he had needed his brother.

He didn't know if he would survive the Fountain of Death. And if he didn't, then at least there would be someone to miss him when he was gone.

***

"Moony, you awake?"

Remus looked in the general direction of James' bed, even if he couldn't really see anything in the dark. "Yeah," he replied

"Padfoot isn't back..." James said. Remus hummed in acknowledgment.

"Do you... are you worried?" James asked. He sounded like he worried.

"About what?" Remus asked instead of saying yes.

"About Sirius," James sounded tired. "I'm not worried that Walburga will hurt him," Remus said, "but I am worried about him all the same."

"You really don't think she'll hurt him?"

"Not right now. Unless he says something she doesn't like," Remus sighed. When James didn't reply, he sat up. "Say what, I'll go check on them, just in case."

He slipped out of the bed, lit his wand, and quickly made his way to the room where they had left Sirius and his mother. It was empty. Remus frowned, and turned back. Maybe Sirius had taken another way to their room.

On his way back, he decided to check on Regulus just in case. He knocked on the door lightly. "Regulus?"

There was no response, so he knocked again. After a while of waiting, he tried the doorknob. The door opened soundlessly. Dim light from the corridor spilled into the room, revealing two figures curled up on the bed together, fast asleep. Remus' heart hurt a little at the sight. They both looked so peaceful, in a way they never did when they were awake.

Smiling to himself, Remus quietly shut the door and went back to their room.

***

"Do you still collect chocolate frog cards?" Sirius asked Regulus, who was sitting on the floor with James playing a game of Wizard's Chess. The four boys had taken a small break after lunch, tired of working for ao long on the cure for Regulus' curse.

"No, not really," Regulus shrugged.

"Why not?" James asked, recalling how Peter and Regulus had used to exchange cards when they were much younger.

"Mother burned them."

They fell quiet after that. Remus looked up from his book, Flowers in the Course of Wizarding History, his eyes settling on Sirius immediately. It felt so good to see him like that, to have him there with his cigarette in his fingers, his legs stretched out and the nape of his neck resting on the chair. Remus had missed him so much, and every time he looked at Sirius, he was filled with relief. Relief of just having Sirius be there in front of Remus, where all he had to do to touch Sirius was lean forward a little and stretch his hand out.

Sirius must've noticed that Remus was watching, because he slowly turned his head to look at Remus. His lips stretched into one of those all too familiar lazy smiles of his.

James nudged Regulus, jerking his head towards Sirius and Remus, who were staring at each other now. Regulus grinned at him. "Hey Reg, what do you call a werewolf who can't keep his eyes off of someone?"

Sirius turned to him immediately, grinning wide. Regulus shrugged, still smiling, "I don't know..."

James smirked at Remus, whose cheeks had turned a lovely red. Sirius touched Remus' ankle with his toes. "A starewolf, duh!" He laughed. Remus groaned. There had been so many werewolf puns that he could compile a whole list of words that rhymed with were.

Regulus and James laughed right along with Sirius. Remus shook his head and smiled at Sirius fondly. He would've given anything for that laughter to last forever.

But they were interrupted by someone clearing their throat. It was Orion.

"Regulus," he said looking rather grave. "A word, please. You too, Sirius."

The two brothers stood, their laughter forgotten completely, scattered in the air in fractured shards. They slowly followed their father out of the room, each hiding from the other the fear they felt.