enchanting | WN

to be with you

03:00 PM
"Woofie." Ava points at a brown dog passing us on the small path, followed by its friendly owner.

"Yeah, dog," I try to teach her.

She nods, smiling as she searches for another one. "Woofie."

I sigh as William laughs at her stubbornness. It's not even her fault but Logan's, he's been teaching her the wrong names for animals on purpose. He finds it hilarious to hear the words 'tootie' and 'rawrisaurius' while reading about wild animals, but won't be as satisfied once Mila hears about his little experiment.

"Logan is a genius."

I roll my eyes, still with a grin of amusement playing on my lips. "Yeah, never say that again."

He laughs beside me, making Ava smile.

My original plan was to just walk through the park and then back home, though something's made me go with a completely different direction. William notice so as we step out of the park and onto the pavement by the road.

"Are we going grocery shopping?" he asks.

The decision that I've just made is hard enough as it is, that's why I keep my gaze forward as I feel his eyes on me.

"We're meeting my dad."

There's some panic that's building inside of me as I let the words go, a feeling that makes me wanna get them back and turn back home.

"Yeah?" William asks, a smile playing on his lips. "That's fun."

His excitement only makes it clearer to me that there's no turning back. As I meet his eyes, I smile too. This is good, even though it's hard.

"Your mom won't be there?" he asks, referring to when I only mentioned my dad.

"I think she's working," I simply reply, looking down at Ava who's been holding my hand this entire time. "Ava? We're going to see grandpa."

Her face lights up in a way that only young children's can, it partly lingers the fear inside of me.

The three of us turns to a different street, where a big building of concrete reveals itself. I bite my lip to stay calm. Me and Ava make our ways across the parking lot, and William follows.

"He's a doctor?" he questions, I can hear on his voice that he really wants me to say yes.

"No," I breathe out as we've started to near the hospital, and the signs that's guiding us towards the ICU. "He's a patient."

And with that, he stays quiet. I can feel his eyes on me as I open the entrance door, but ignore it as I probably wouldn't be able to contain myself otherwise.

Ava immediately squeals as she spots the receptionist. Getting a playful smile back, she nearly trips by the hysterical laughter.

"Elle," the lady behind the desk, Alice, greets me in a smile. "Hey, nice to see you."

I smile back, glancing towards William who's patiently standing next to me. "Yeah, we're here to see dad."

She nods softly, glancing down at her computer. As we wait for her to let us in, I feel a warm hand gently touching the palm of mine. Looking down, I see William connect his hand with mine.

"That sounds good, love."

Alice walks around her desk and unlocks the door for us, opening it and letting the three of us walk through before closing it again. The sounds in this corridor is a lot different from the ones in the reception. Instead of calm music, there's beeping from respirators and nurses talking quietly to each other.

Ava immediately starts her way through, glancing into every opened door on her way to my dad's. I watch her as me and William yet haven't taken our first steps, standing completely still as I gently bring my hand away from his. I realize that I need to talk to him, it isn't fair to just throw this at him.

With my arms gently crossed, I turn to stand properly in front of him. Pressing my lips together, it takes much to even move my gaze up to meet his blue eyes.

This is what I've feared, to share the most private part of me. I'm not used to showing this side, the already broken one. The part that most likely won't be healed again, the part that's only waiting to break down completely once my father's died.

As I look into William's eyes, shaking as I force my gaze to stay, it's just as overwhelming as I imagined. He always makes me feel so much more, whether it's love, hurt or safety. He extends my emotions, on good and bad.

My eyes have started to water, his have too. I realize that this is what it takes to be able to be with him. I have to show every part of me, and that's what puts the beautiful to the hurt.

Instead of explaining anything, I carefully take the step into his embrace before bringing his shoulders to me. He hugs me back, gently kissing the sides of my head as one tear filled with relief falls down my cheek.