Next Time Around

Everybody needs a good laugh

Authors note:
This chapter is a little daft to be honest. A little comic relief in between all of the seriousness. It already says so in the title- nothing really substantial will haven in this chapter. Maybe a little character development, but that's it really.

Disclaimer: I like to pretend, but I'm not Rowling. Thusfar, she has not responded to my attempt to bribe her into giving me the rights of the books with cookies. So Harry's not mine. And neither is anyone else you recognize from the books. Bummer.

Enjoy!

At six o'clock sharp Harry woke yet again. He felt something next to him on the bed, so he turned around.

And promptly jumped off of the bed, reaching for his wand. A stupify on the tip of his tongue, he examined the thing more closely. When he had turned around all he had seen was a mop of chocolate brown hair, so he assumed there was someone else in his bed. He was quite sure that he had brought no one with him last night, so it must have been an intruder.

He was partially correct. It was an intruder. But only the head of said intruder was in the bed. Literally. There was no body attached to it. It was Remus' head.

As soon as Harry realized that, he let out -it was not an undignified squeak, no not at all!- a mighty roar in alarm. Still. Thank god he slept with silencing wards around his bed. Really. Thank Merlin. If anyone else had heard that he would never hear the end of it.

After overcoming the initial stress and trauma associated with waking up next to the bodiless head of a person you loved, Harry saw that there was a note on his bedside table.

Dear Harry,
I, Tonks that is, have decided to give you a great gift. Since I know you were very close to Remus whilst he was still alive, I know just how much you would appreciate it if he were to be there for you after a particularly hard day like yesterday- especially after such a restless night. Oops. Hermione told me I wasn't allowed to tell you that we took away the silencing spells and wards in and around your room. It was just to make sure you were all right, I assure you.

In any case, last night I gave you the luxury of sleeping next to my dear Remmy. Rest assured, he has a status charm on him so there is nothing gross about it. No rotting whatsoever. Believe me, I know it isn't rotting (or gross)- I've slept with him too! We had a great time together, isn't that so Remmy? I plan on giving him to people who are having a hard time to brighten, or rather, darken, their night.

Because you had such a hard time yesterday with all of those interrogations, you can even have him for two nights. Make good use of him. (I did it too *wink*)

Tonks

Harry stared at the letter in his hands. 'Right. That's it.' He said to himself 'she's going straight to anyone, everyone here with even the slightest amount of knowledge about psychology and she's working this out. I swear I can't handle this. It's too early.' Harry already felt the beginnings of a sharp headache coming up.

Absolutely bonkers that one... he thought to himself. 'Really though' he murmured 'what the hell man. Merlin's soggy underpants.'

And on that note he began his workout. There was no excuse for not doing his workout. Even if finding a cleanly cut of head is his bed made for a not-so-pleasant start of the day. Especially with that note. Just thinking about what Tonks must have done to that poor head- nope! No, no, no! Not thinking about it! No no no- aarrgghhh! Harry pushes the palms of his hands on his eyeballs trying to remove whatever unsavory image was stored in his mind.

'Scarred for life. Yup. I'm going to hell now, I just know it. Merlin have mercy on my soul.' Harry moaned. He grabbed the head and, holding it as far away from himself as he could, walked towards the main hall where he hung it from a chain.