PRETTYMUCH a Lie [n.m]

Eighty-Four

Amelia

I couldn't believe that my dad and the boys had actually flew down to help us recover from the hurricane. It was a devastating one for sure. I still couldn't believe it. One thing that was heartwarming, was the amount of people that came from all around just to help. It was amazing to see our community come together after such a devastating blow. People lost cars, businesses, houses, and family members.

After a long day of helping our neighbors clean up and riding down near the beach helping some more with the debris and getting water for the residents, my dad drove us to get some dinner out of town. There weren't very many restaurants open, but we managed to find a buffet to eat at.

"So, I wanted to talk to you, Amelia," my dad spoke quietly to me out of nowhere.

I focused my attention on him as he continued, "We are leaving tomorrow morning to go back to California, I was wondering if you wanted to come with. Gwen has made up your room and also a room for Alison to stay in as well," he nervously stated.

Was my dad asking me to move to California? I went to school in Florida though.

"You want me to move?" I asked scrunching my eyebrows together.

I could feel Nicks eyes on me while I hesitated to give my father a straight answer. I knew Nick wanted me to move to California as well, I mean, that was partially the reason that I switched to online classes, so if I needed to spend more time there with my family I could. I guess I didn't technically have family here anyway.

"Let me think about it and talk to Alison," I replied, biting my lip afterwards.

I didn't even know if Alison would want to move or not. I didn't want to go anywhere without her, she had basically been the only family I'd known for almost all of my life. It would be nice to be near Nick though. I didn't know. That was a pretty big decision for him to spring on me at the moment.

After dinner, my father stayed at his hotel and the boys spent the night with us. I actually didn't know how we didn't get in trouble for harboring five boys in our small dorm, but we didn't. Our dorm advisors were elsewhere anyway, dealing with family or other issues. They basically shut the college down for the week. I didn't think it would've been a big deal anyway. The boys made a huge pallet on the floor and managed to fall asleep.

After talking with Alison, she agreed to move to California with me for the rest of the semester. She thought it would be a good idea for her to go ahead and apply to schools in LA to get a head start on her career as an educator, and of course, live near Zion. We didn't have much longer, it was bittersweet that we would be graduating in less than two months.

Soon enough, we had our necessities packed up and ready to go. My dad surprised us with plane tickets hoping we would say yes. Nick was overjoyed that I was going to be staying near him, but my dad was even more giddy. It was sweet to see both of them so happy that I was moving. I felt like I was leaving this part of me behind while I rolled the last of my luggage down to the car.

I'd lived in Georgia all my life, and Florida for these past three years, now I was moving across the United States. Life is full of change I guess. I was sad to leave this behind, but I would be back here soon enough to walk across the stage and get my degree. That I was happy for. I wanted to do everything that I could to give my child the perfect life.

"What are you thinking about?" Nick squeezed my hand after a while of me being quiet on the plane.

"Just stuff," I shrugged, not really wanting to talk about my feelings.

"Talk to me," he tilted his head sympathetically.

Edwin was in the window seat and Nick sat in the middle so I could stretch out my legs.

I noticed Edwin had his headphones in and his eyes were closed while his head rested against the window, so I spilled.

"Well, I'm just worried I won't be able to give our baby everything. I want to give him the world, I don't want to mess up. What if I'm a horrible mom?" I pouted.

"Baby, you're going to be a great mom," Nick said and pulled his confused look into a smile. "You honestly think you're going to be a bad mom? But you've had so much practice already being the mother of a very special group of boys and you're doing so well at that, I know for a fact you're going to be the best mom. Any child would be lucky to have you as their mom," he spoke again while pulling my hand up to his mouth after and kissing it softly.

I smiled at him and laid my head onto his shoulder.

"I'm just worried that's all. I'm going to try my best," I whispered.

"Baby, just because you had a crappy mom doesn't mean you'll be a crappy mom. If anything, that has taught you so much. The love that you feel for this baby, I know your mom felt for you. She just had a rough go of it," he soothed.

It really encouraged me to hear Nick speak those words to me. I knew my mother loved me, I just wish I'd heard it more. I knew she wanted to get better, but I had to move on. As much as I told myself I would turn out like my mother, as much as my mother had told me I would turn out like her, I refused to believe it anymore. I was going to be the mother than I always wanted, the mother that I needed.

I learned my lesson the hard way but my children will not. I was better than that.

Happy update! College is still killing me, RIP.

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-Tay