- 5 - A s h t o n - It Could Be Better

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- 5 - A s h t o n -

 

Breathe in. Breathe out., Breathe in. Breath Out. I thought to myself.  Is this what’s it’s life for people who have panic attacks? I suppose. I let my mind wander off and didn’t hear Michael walk in.

“Hey dude. What was that? Does she remind you of someone from your past? Is she someone from your past?”

“No. No she’s not anyone from my past. Just remembered something and got freaked out. That’s all.”

“Okay. . . Are you sure? You looked pretty freaked out and wouldn’t stop looking at her. Are you sure everything’s good? This doesn’t have anything to do with that necklace girl does it?”

I looked at him. Should I tell him? I was going to. . . but then Nora showed up and changed everything. I’ll wait, until I’ve spoken with Nora in private at least.

“No.” I confirmed. “Not at all.”

“Whatever you say man. You’re stuck with her.”

“What do you man?”

“I mean that you’re showing her around today.”

“Damn it. Can you take her? Or Luke or Caulm? Please?”

“Sorry. Mrs. Radar decided. Besides, none of us can switch with you. We don’t have the same schedule.”

“Fuck.”

“I’m sorry man. There’s nothing I can do about it. But we’d better get back to class. A detention would be a bad thing to get today. Rehearsal after school, remember?”

“Yeah. Right. Rehearsal. One thing to look forward to.”

“That’s the way to look at it!”

We got up and walked back to class.

When we entered, and Mrs. Rader gave me the evil-eye, but stayed quiet. Everyone also looked at me, but I ignored them and sat down. Michael was right behind me. After a few minutes, the quiet chatter started again and I stayed quiet. The others played the game and I sat and watched.

When class ended, I silently got up and waited for Nora to get her things. When she was ready, I turned and walked to our next class. I felt the other three boy’s eyes on me as I left, but I didn’t care. I know this is unlike me to them, but I couldn’t talk to Nora. Not yet. When we got to our next class, i pointed her to the teacher and sat in my seat and zone out.

That’s kind of how it went all day. I didn’t talk to her, and she didn’t try to talk to me, and the teachers looked at me weirdly because I’m usually always happy and nice, and my friends were the same.  

In English and Spanish, I zoned out.

When we got to chemistry, which is right before lunch, Mrs. Pugel put Nora next to Michael, who had this class with us. I zoned out again. When it was over, Michael told me he’d show Nora to the lunch room because her locker was right next to his.

I agreed and took my time walking to my locker. I put my things in, waited in line for my lunch, and by the time I got to the table, everyone else as there.

Including Nora.

I sat down silently, scowled, and began to eat.

“Hey man. What is up with you today? You were on time to school, then zoned out in Geometry, probably in the rest of your classes too, and now you’re quiet at lunch?” Calum asked.

“Yeah. Usually you’re loud and happy, so something is definitely up. What is it?” Luke agreed.

“Nothing. Just a lot on my mind from a . . . very sudden surprise this morning.”

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