Hollywood Nights//Jake Kiszka

Eleven

You knew this day had been coming all week, but that still doesn't prepare you for it. You know you'll still be able to talk to him, and maybe even see him the next time he comes to L.A. But that doesn't make the fact that he's leaving any easier.  You should never have gotten attached. Should have just let it be one night, but like an idiot you had to see him again, and again, and again. God, how could you be so stupid?

   Jake grabs his suitcase and looks over at you. You nod, and get up off the bed. He walks over to you and wraps his arms around you. You force a smile. "I'll still hear from you, right?" You whisper.

  "Uh, I don't know," he admitted.

  "Why not?" You're confused now.
  "It's just-"

  "Just what?"

  "I'm going to be busy with what I'll be doing," he murmurs.

"What are you going to be doing when you're gone? I feel like I still don't know who are," you look into his eyes, hoping he'll reveal something, anything, before he leaves.

  "You don't wanna know who I really am, trust me," he says, quietly.

  "What, are you an ex-con or something?"

  He laughs. "No, I'm not. But you'd see me differently if you knew who I was. It's better this way. Easier."

  You shake your head. "No, it's not easier. Easier for you, maybe, but not for me," you're raising your voice a bit now. "How do you think I feel knowing I might never see you again? You can't just suddenly come into my life like this and then leave just as quickly," you catch your breath and feel your eyes beginning to sting.

   You know you've gotten to him with your words, because now he's yelling back, "you think this is easy for me? You know how fucking hard it is for me to leave you? You think you mean nothing to me Y/N, but that's just not true. If I could stay forever, I would," you can see his face is flushed with anger.

  "If you want to stay so badly, then stay," you yell.

  "I can't."

  "Why the hell not?"

  He says nothing.

  "Of course, you can't tell me. Why are you so afraid for me to know who you really are? Give me something, anything. Please, Jake."

  He clenches his jaw and shakes his head. You think he's going to walk away then, but he walks towards you instead. "You wanna know why I wanna stay with you so badly?" He begins. "With you, I'm a real person. People are only attracted to me because they want something from me. But you? You see me for who I really am. You want me for who I really am. And you're the first person I've met in ages who's felt that way. It's not easy for me to leave you, it fucking kills me. Is that what you wanted to know?"

  It's safe to say you're pretty much speechless. "Wow," is all you can force out.

  "My real name is Jake Kiszka," he says.

  "Jake, you don't have to-"

  "Yeah, I want you to know. So you can decide if you still want me when you know who I really am."

  "I'll want you no matter what, and I wanna see you again one day,"

  He walks over to you and kisses you. You run your fingers through his long hair and he wraps his arms around you. You wish you could stay in that moment forever.

  "I have to go," he says, breaking the kiss.

  "I'm gonna miss you," is all you can think to say.

  "I'm gonna miss you too."

  You squeeze his hand one last time and watch him walk to to the curb to hail a cab. He turns to look at you one last time before climbing in the car. You force a smile and a wave. He waves back, and then he's driving away. You wonder if you'll ever see that man that turned your world upside down for one week ever again.