Trust [Lams AU]

8

Trigger warning: drug mention, addiction mention

A/N: Sorry for the late update I've been drowning in schoolwork and I was sick all weekend. Enjoy!

"Alexander, come downstairs! I have some good news for you."

Alex put down his book and ran downstairs. Martha was waiting for him in the living room, holding a piece of paper in her hand and smiling.

"Your class schedule arrived. For Colonial Prep."

Alex grinned and took the paper from her hands. He'd done well enough on the placement test to get into honors classes.

This is the beginning. He thought as he gazed at the words "English Honors" printed on the page in ugly bold lettering. First I do well in these advanced classes. Then I graduate at the top of my glass. Then it's on to Law School.

"I did it!" He said, feeling like a child who'd just successfully poured themselves a bowl of cereal without spilling and making a mess. "I didn't throw away my shot."

Martha laughed. "I'm proud of you, Alexander."

"Do you think I'll be able to graduate on time? Will I have to do extra work because I didn't go to school for so long?"

Alex's biggest fear was being too far behind academically to be able to graduate on time. That would set his plans back tremendously. He couldn't let his past define him, couldn't let his humble beginnings control his life. He would work his fingers to the bone before he let his past destroy his future.

Alex would do anything to more forward, to put his past as far behind him as he could. Never again would the world know him as the poor orphan from Nevis, as the miserable pathetic creature whom the Washingtons had taken in as a charity project.

The name 'Alexander Hamilton' was going to have meaning, and he was going to make sure that the whole world knew it.

"Most likely not. According to your placement test you're up to speed academically. There might be certain things you struggle with but as long as you put in the effort you'll graduate on time."

Alex nodded.

"We need to get you prepared for school, Alexander." Martha said, setting the rest of the mail down on the table. "We need to get you a backpack and clothes to wear and stuff like that."

"Can I get a haircut?" Alex said, taking his hair down from its ponytail. It was more than halfway to his waist now and the back was a rat's nest of knots that were too difficult and painful to comb out. "It's getting way too long and difficult to deal with."

"Sure. I'll make an appointment for later today."

Alex couldn't remember the last time he'd gotten a haircut. In the past he'd cut it himself, but he wasn't skilled enough to do anything more than a trim. After a while, he'd stopped caring enough to trim it. It didn't matter what he looked like. Nobody paid attention to him anyway, so his appearance was the least of his concerns. It didn't matter how good or bad he looked when nobody every bothered to look at him.

He supposed it didn't matter what he looked like at school. Nobody would pay attention to him there either. That was his life: running from place to place in hopes that somebody somewhere would care about him, only to find that everyone hated him regardless.

Maybe it's not the people or the location. Maybe it's me. He thought as he put his hair back up. Maybe I'm just awful and that's why nobody likes me. No haircut will make me a likable person. No acne treatment will make people like me. I'm awful on the inside, where it counts. It doesn't matter how I look on the outside if I'm awful on the inside.