19) showing up

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Wednesday 29th August.

Z A C

The fog of sleep lifted enough that I could hear the muffled screams coming from the other end of the hall.

Addie.

I was still half asleep but I bolted upright, flung the comforter back and ripped the door open before I took off towards her bedroom. It was pitch black and near impossible to see but I knew this house like the back of my hand. So I didn't fumble much at all when I barreled through her door and went straight for the light switch.

She was in the middle of her bed, eyes closed, the look of total terror on her face. She whimpered in between blood curdling screams. I didn't waste time and kneeled on the edge of her mattress so that I could grip her shoulders, my hands almost slipped off her slick skin, my heart ached at the distress in her cries.

"Addie!" I shouted, leaning over her. "Addie!"

Sharp gasps of breath echoed through the room as she inhaled and started to blink. It must have been confusing to have been in such a realistic nightmare one moment and back on earth the next. She blinked, slow, her whimpers softened but her breathing remained harsh and laboured.

"You're alright," I murmured, pushing damp strands of hair from her forehead. "It was just a bad dream."

She rolled on to her side and buried her face in her hands. She muffled some sort of incoherent apology but I wasn't having it. She hadn't had a dream like this since she moved in and even if she had them every night, it wouldn't matter. It wasn't her fault.

"Move over," I said and shifted until I could lie down beside her and pull her close. She didn't hesitate, her frame molded to mine and I rested my chin on top of her head.

It'd been a while since I'd shared a bed with someone but it hit me that I'd missed it. Or perhaps it was just Addie that made it feel as though I'd been missing out. It wasn't a secret to me that I was feeling a lot for this girl. It happened fast but I couldn't have stopped it if I wanted to. However, it was obvious that she needed things to move slow and I would respect that. After all that she'd been through, she deserved that much.

"You must be worried about something," I kissed her head and could smell watermelon with a hint of perspire. She nodded.

"We haven't heard a word from Milo and Raine."

She was right. We hadn't. Raine hadn't even contacted me since the truth about Willa came out. I imagined it was a shock for Milo to hear. Hell, it was a shock for me, but it changed nothing. Addie went through something traumatic, something that no teenage girl, no woman, no person should go through. And on top of that, having to give up her child because she wasn't in the right frame of mind to care for her, I couldn't imagine what kind of strength that would require.

But now she was here and I had to wonder how Willa would handle the truth if Milo allowed Addie to tell her. Would she be upset? Resistant? Excited? I know that Willa had asked about her birth parents in the past. But this was different. This was real. Her birth mother, right here, friends even. I could tell that Willa admired and enjoyed spending time with Addie. How much would their friendship change when Willa found out that the woman she'd befriended was the same woman that had given her up ten years ago?

Willa was mature and intelligent for her age. But she was still a child.

"We have to give them time," I told her, running a hand across her back.

"I know that. It's just— it's hard to wait. As much as I understand waiting, it's still turning my stomach into knots."

Of course it was. I couldn't imagine being in her position.

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