Meant for Me | ✔️

34) here with me

Thurday, 8th May.

A D D I E

Willa and Raine were meant to be on a flight home at two this afternoon, instead, they were out in the waiting area, running on little to no sleep because I've been in labor all night and day.

It's three in the morning now. Irie is here, in scrubs, her bald head covered with a surgical cap. She's holding my hand and shouting instructions at me like she's a seasoned midwife.

My actual midwife, Laura, does find her accent amusing though, so there's that.

"You should lie down," Irie said as I stood beside the bed with my palms on the mattress, sweat dripping off my forehead. "Lie down. What if the baby falls out and lands on its head."

"Irie," Laura exhaled. "She's fine. The baby isn't going to fall out and land on it's head."

"How fucking loose do you think I am?"

Laura tilted her head. "Hmmm that's not—"

"Oh I know! I was just making a j—" another contraction made me breathless, I clutched the bed sheet in my fists. There was no way to describe contractions. It was like period cramps on crack.

Or if the hulk squeezed a basketball in his fist, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze and then when it wouldn't pop he loosened his grip a fraction, grumbled with frustration and started squeezing again seven minutes later. And then five minutes later and then two minutes later. That was what my abdomen felt like right now.

"Deep breaths, Addie. Slow and deep," Laura instructed while she rubbed my back.

"Ha. That's what she said," Irie hollered.

Laura leaned down and whispered in my ear. "Do you want me to ask her to leave?"

"No," I panted. "No I need the comical relief. It's fine."

The contractions were closer and stronger than ever at this point. I was barely getting a chance to breathe between them. Laura said that I was transitioning and any moment now, I would be able to push.

"Alright, we need to measure the dilation again. We should be at ten centimeters."

"We better be," I swayed. Remaining on my feet was getting harder and harder. "I can't do this much longer."

"See," Irie patted the bed. "Lie down so she can measure you."

"No, she's fine," Laura knelt down beside me. "I can do it here. Standing is going to be a lot easier when it comes time to push. Gravity really does help."

Because of how many internals I needed throughout the labor and how hot I was, I was in nothing but a sports bra. Dignity wasn't even a thing at this point. Nothing mattered except having this child. Laura knelt to the side of me and inserted two fingers inside of me.

Irie whistled. "Straight up, can not get over how pornographic child birth is."

"Hey," Laura said to Irie. "How about you go and let Raine and Willa know that the pushing is about to begin. Give them an update."

"Is it?!"

"Yes," Laura stood up again and whipped off her rubber gloves so that she could replace them. "You're fully dilated, Addie. It's time to start pushing. Can you feel the need to push?"

Irie ran out of the room while I answered her. "Yeah. It sort of feels like I need to poop."

"Totally normal. Still comfortable there?"

"Comfortable?!"

"Yeah, well," she hit the buzzer on the wall to alert the doctor and nurse that we'd be needing their assistance from here out.