Meant for Me | ✔️

23) not as planned

Sunday, 3rd September.

A D D I E

Milo was kind enough to allow me to take Willa out for the afternoon after brunch. He didn't have to do that. What if I was some nut case that decided to steal her and jet off? That would have been a concern to me, but he confidently let me know that he didn't believe I would do something like that, and even if I did, he'd find me.

He was so relaxed and sure of himself when he said that, that I knew he meant it. Willa probably had a chip in her shoes or something. He and Raine are police officers after all. Their daughter's safety wouldn't have been left to chance. Obviously I wasn't going to kidnap Willa so the conversation was ended in good humour and Zac gave me the keys to his truck.

The rain had stopped and the earth smelt fresh. Like damp soil and bark. Whenever the breeze lifted, the tree leaves shook water droplets onto the ground and it sounded like a symphony of nature's finest tunes. Everything felt sharper this afternoon. Clearer. More focused than it's ever been and I know it's because of the little girl walking along the sidewalk beside me.

We'd come into town and decided to head into the library. It was her idea and I didn't argue. There was a common ground here. We both loved to read.

The public library was like a lot of the other local buildings. Large, red brick and inside there were dozens of art sculptures of various items including a brass western woman and an eagle and a little girl reading. We headed for the classic romance section. Willa was in charge. She led the way and I felt light and excited watching her long black hair bounce as she walked.

I was at the library with my daughter.

Surreal. The words kept rolling over in my mind but I kept them to myself. I didn't want to sound weird or possessive. It was enough just to know this information myself and embrace it, allow it to soothe some of the ache that has been keeping me hollow for so long.

"I tried," Willa slipped a copy of Pride and Prejudice off the shelf and waved it at me with a defeated smile. "I just couldn't get through it. The sentences confused me and I didn't know what most of the words meant."

I lightly laughed and gave her an understanding nod. "I get it. The vocabulary in these books isn't really taught in school anymore so I'm not surprised. Even I didn't know what a lot of the words meant. I spent so much time pausing and googling."

That made her laugh as she slid it back into place with her palm flat against the spine. "Did your sister like to read?"

My chest tightened. "Uh no. Not a lot. She did once in a while if something sounded really interesting to her. But no, she was more of a doer. You know? She loved the beach and she loved shopping. Also, she never let age stop her from going to the clubs and dancing. She was obsessed with dancing and dating and singing. She didn't sing well but she loved it."

"She sounded fun."

It hurt to remember that Margo was in love with living and that was stolen from her far too soon. "She was fun. She made lots of little moments fun too, you know? Like, she was so good at making pasta from scratch and after it had been cooking in the water, she'd fish a piece out and fling it at the kitchen wall. If it stuck, it was cooked. Which, a lot of people do, but she made it a game. We had little spots of light that came in from the kitchen window at dusk and those were our targets. We had to hit them with the pasta. That was what Margo was like. She tried to make ordinary moments a little bit special."

She would have been an inspiring mother.

Willa was smiling, her attention all on me. We carried on walking around the aisles while I told her about Margo. Aunt Margo to Willa. That was sweet. I told her about more of our special memories. The ones that we made out of seemingly normal circumstances. Well, I couldn't say we. It was always Margo that created the good times.