Reviving A Dead Heart

Chapter 3 (Edited)

Days were going by just like that. I couldn't keep up with them. Maybe it had been four weeks or maybe it had been five. I didn't know and I didn't want to to know. The child inside me was somehow linking me to living world but other then that I was somewhere else. I was feeling contraction from many days. They were light and never getting stronger. The pressure was increasing in my pelvis area indicating that our child wanted be out. Our child may have been ready to leave the safety of my womb but I wasn't ready for him or her to be out yet.

Maybe I would never be ready. My mind was conjuring things up. Yes, I saw Hud getting shot. I saw him taking his last breath on the snowy ground but It was all dream albeit more like a long nightmare,Wasn't it. I wanted to desperately wake up. It increased my worries that our child wanted to be out. It needed to remain in and wait for me to wake up.

I woke up like every other morning on the bed of our room in our apartment. My hand reached out on the other side of bed and the first disappointment of day hit me when I couldn't find him there laying next to me with his arms wrapped around me. The night before sleeping. I always waited for the morning to raise. As I hoped that he would be there.

I would then set up in bed make my mind relax. I would try to listen in sound of shower going on and following my routine and the second disappointment of day would hit me. When there would be no sound of shower or anything just extreme stillness. My heart would ache. A tear will slip from my eyes but I wouldn't give up and still move on. I would walk toward the balcony saying the words that "He is in there. He is in there. I have woken up from nightmare."

I would walk in balcony. Letting my eyes wander on ever spot. Someday there would be a bit of sun rays but most of days it was plain cold with snow on roads. This time when I wasn't able to find him there. More tears started to leave from my eyes.

I would still walk in room not giving up. I would go to bathroom go through the chore of basic needs. I would walk in to dressing room and then open the drawer which held all of his ties.

I would take one out and then run my fingers on it feeling the smoothness. I would close my eyes imagining him standing before him and with playfulness in eyes as he asked me to knot his tie. I would stand on my tip toes and wrap the tie around his neck but he would bent down wrapping his arm around my waist making it easy for me to knot his tie. After I was done. He would kiss my forehead pulling me in his arm and I would be enveloped in his scent and presence like I was at the moment.

"Noor." The call of my name reached my ear breaking me out of trance that I was in. The warmth of his touch and scent drifted away leaving me cold. I opened my eyes. At the doorway, Aunt Sara was standing.

"Breakfast is ready." She announced and I nodded my head.

"Would you like to change before having breakfast?" She asked and I didn't answer like usual. She just took a dress out of closet and gave it to me. After that she left giving me privacy to change.

After changing, I got out and found a trolley of breakfast beside my bed. I took a seat on my bed and we both started to eat silently. It was daily routine.

After breakfast I would sit in our room checking my phone as I waited for his call or his text. I would make myself believe that he was in a meeting probably at office. He would be busy. The wait would make me pace in my room until lunch.

At time of lunch. Aunt would call me and I would have lunch with her. After that I would walk straight to grand Piano. I would sit gently on stool. First I would close my eyes and take a deep sigh and then I would try to feel his presence and then it would happen. His scent would reach my nose and I would feel the warmth of his body sitting beside me. My finger would start to play and the music would reach my ears taking me farther away from reality to land of wonder. Where everything was right and he was with me. I would play, play and play. Not having idea that I was tangled by him or music.