Reviving A Dead Heart

Chapter 23 (Edited)

The snow falling down the sky as I drove the car. Tears were streaming down my face. My speed getting higher and higher. My hands shaking and my ears ringing with noises. Noises that I wanted to ignore.

There were some flashes in front of my eyes and my foot pressed a bit more on escalator. Then a suddenly came a dog in middle of the road. I pressed on the brakes hard and the car stopped with a jerk with my head almost colliding to the the steering wheel.

My hairs fell on my face formed a veil and I pulled them back. The dog walked away like a second ago it wasn't about to die under my tires. The snow balls getting bigger and bigger by time. It would have been beautiful scenery with snowballs falling from night sky but it didn't felt beautiful to me as I started crying like crazily with my hands thumping on the steering wheel.

Yelling, cursing and crying until no energy was left to spare. It must have been a truly pitiful sight. I wildly brushed away the tears and wiped my cheeks and started driving.

Fifteen minutes later, I found myself in front of a bar. The same bar in which Hudayfah poured his heart to me for first time. It was same almost with some things changed.

The same stage with a man and a women singing a song together with some people playing music.

I placed my coat on the back of bar stoll and set on it. I ordered a simple cocktail with no alcohol. I took the sip of the cocktail and then my eyes found the stage and my ears caught the lyrics as one of them sang.

"Talking love but I can't even read the signs."

"I would sell my soul for a bit more time."

"You stain all on my body like you are red wine."

I tuned down the music and turned my head back to find the bartender looking at me. "Had a rough night."

I knew how I looked with my eyes smudged mascara, red swollen eyes. Tears stained face. He must have been thinking that I had a bad breakup and I laughed at that in my head.

"You have no idea."

"Want something strong." His hand were busy setting glasses.

The temptation was strong to get drunk and forget about it for a some time. I knew the feeling and I also knew that two shots would be enough for me to reach that stage.

"Do you have cigarette?" He took out the pack and gave one to me.

I placed it in my mouth. "Lighter."

He placed the lighter in my open palm. I turned it on and ignited the cigarette in my mouth. The fist whiff of smoke lead me to coughing. I pulled the cigarette away from my lips.

"I thought you were a pro."

"I smoked only thrice in my teenage years. It was expected." I looked toward the stage again.

Now the both singers were singing simultaneously same lines again and again.

Call me stupid, Call me sad
You are the best I ever had
You are the worst I ever had
Now its fucking with my head

"This song is really fucking with my head." I commented moving my fingers through my strands.

I took more whiffs and didn't cough again. I guess I learned the trick to smoke. My fingers twirled the diamond ring lying across my chest.

A face flashed in front of my eyes. My grip on the ring tightened. Now I was sure that he would never come. A silly part of me thought if I kept wearing it he would be able to find me and that part was the one that never accepted his death. Now it was finally gone as I yanked the ring breaking the clasp of chain. It fell on my hand. The bartender was working on other side. I pulled some money enough to cover for cocktail and pack of cigarette and lighter. I also placed the pendant on bar and took my court and wore it before leaving.