Harry Styles Imagines

Letting Her Go

My heart is heavy as I try to put my thoughts into words. I never thought a day would come where I would be able to say that (y/n) was no longer mine. She was my everything. Hell, she still is. She'll always be everything I've ever dreamed of and hoped for. I will always love and care for her, even if she doesn't feel the same way. Even if she forgets about me and what we shared, I could never even dream of forgetting a single thing.
It has been about two months since she left, though it still burns in my memory as if it was just yesterday. Watching her leave broke my heart into a million pieces, and I know that they will never heal back together the same way. As I walk around the home we shared for three years, I can't help but be reminded of all the memories we've created. How we would stay in bed all day, enjoying each other's company. The times we sat in the living room watched her favorite movies over and over, because she loved them, and because I loved her, I grew to love them too. The times we would dance around the house to our favorite songs as we cleaned. The times I'd come home and play new songs for her right after I had written them in the studio, making sure she was always the first to hear them, as she was not only my biggest fan but my biggest critic. The times I'd cook for her and she'd insist on helping me, teasing and picking on me until I obliged. Though, truthfully I only let her pester me because of the big smile she'd get on her face while doing so.
That's one of the many, many things about (y/n). Her bright smile, her laugh, how stubborn she is, how things have to go her way or she isn't having it. How stunning she looked in the morning as the sun came through the windows and lit up her face perfectly as she slept. How gorgeous she is no matter what she looked like or what she wore or how she did her hair. How beautiful her soul is, and how kind her heart is. But most importantly, how she made me felt. Ever since she left me I've felt like I was missing half of myself. I always knew she was the piece I had always been missing, and now that she is gone I am not whole anymore. And I know for a fact I'll never feel whole again.
It was mainly my fault that she decided to go, she felt like I wasn't being myself anymore. She was right, but it was only because the realization that I would never deserve her was finally hitting me. I wasn't good enough for (y/n). I never will be good enough for her. She deserved someone much greater than I will ever be, and though I hate the mere thought of her being with anyone else, I honestly hope she finds the man who deserves her one day. I'm sure he'll feel unworthy, much like I did, but the difference between him and I is that he will be worthy. He'll appreciate her with ever fiber of his being, he'll love her with everything he's got. He'll do everything I didn't do enough, even if I did feel like I did the best I could.
But I also hope that he realizes how big and important his task is. That he knows what his responsibilities are. If he were to somehow stumble upon this, there is some advice I'd like to give. First of all, I know what you're thinking. "Why should I take advice from the guy who lost her in the first place?" Yeah, yeah, but hear me out. Yes, I lost her. And I'll never forgive myself for that. But if you happen to be the one for her, then lucky you. Because you'll never have to endure the pain and heartbreak that I continue to experience. But that doesn't mean you can just half-ass everything. You have quite big shoes to fill, mate.
Now, if you're still reading, here's the advice. Always be there for her. It's easier said that done, believe it or not. There will be good days and bad days, days where she'll never want to leave you side and days where she doesn't want to be near you. But you have to know how to handle the bad, and cherish the good. When she's having a rough day, get her some flowers or her favorite candy, because she loves romantic gestures. It'll make it as if she wasn't in a fowl mood at all that day. And when she's in a great mood. relish in that. Make her feel wanted and loved. Don't ever leave stuff lie or leave a mess. She'll feel like you either don't care enough, or think it's her job to clean up after you. Trust me, you only make that mistake once and learn from it immediately after. Speaking of which, don't get on her bad side, because she can hold a grudge. Try not having her talk to you for three days. Yeah, I've been there, and it's not fun. When she's cuddling with you, rub her back or play with her hair. I always told her she was like a kitten or something in another life, because she absolutely loves when you do that. Make sure you remind her how beautiful she is, because there are plenty of days where she feels anything but. And if you take anything from this, then let this be it; never take a single day with her for granted. Cherish every moment you get with her, and realize how damn lucky you are to have her.
Though I hate to say it, there will come a day where she falls in love with someone else. And when that day comes, I'll feel extremely torn. Not only will it feel as if my world is falling apart, my world will also be the happiest it's ever been. Because (y/n) is my world. And she always will be.
-Harry x