Harry Styles Imagines

Part 6

Harry's eyes followed you as you bit your lip and walked back and forth five or six steps in front of him. "You're doing that pacing thing where you pace for a long time and then don't really say anything and expect me to know what's going through your head," Harry said from where he was leaning against one of the workstations.
"I'm thinking of how I want to word everything so it all makes sense," you said, placing your hands in front of you as you walked, twiddling with your fingers. "I have a lot to say."
"That's a first," Harry noted.
"Yes well considering I've been here before and know exactly what is going to happen, I'd like to be prepared," you snapped and glared at him as you continued to pace.
"Look, Y/N, it's late. Why don't we just go back to mine and we can talk this all through and -"
"No I'm not going to your place," you said quickly, "I know where that will lead. Multiple fights we've had have ended at your place. Specifically, your bed."
"I mean," Harry shrugged, "I wouldn't be angry if that happened again?"
You stopped pacing and stood directly in front of him, your arms twisted tightly crossed over your chest as you looked at him in disbelief. "Is this some kind of joke to you?" you asked, "Is this just a funny happening going on in your life like 'Oh lol I'm getting back together with my ex hahaha!'"
"No," Harry said quickly, "I'm taking this very seriously."
"I'm not having sex with you," you said firmly as Harry nodded and pushed himself off the workstation to walk over to you.
"Then what do you need?" he asked, "What can I do to make this situation work for you?"
"I need you to stand at a distance from me while I talk about everything that's been running through my head or seven months."
"Eight months," Harry corrected.
You sighed and took a step away from him as you wrung the water bottle in your hands. "It's not that I don't want to get back together with you," you started, "I love you and I've made that clear considering my mood these past couple months. But we can't just easily go right back into it."
"Why not?" Harry asked, "I love you. You love me. We're both single and back on speaking terms."
"It's not that simple!" you said, "You broke my heart. For the better part of the year I was a wreck. You destroyed me completely and now you just want to waltz back in as if we broke up over some dumb decision on where we wanted to eat for the night. Do you fully understand the aftermath of what you did to me?"
Harry was quiet now as he pushed his thumb into the wood of the table and avoided your eye. "I'm aware I made a huge mistake. I know I can't go back and change it, but I'm asking you to give me a second chance now. Things have changed. I'm on a break and I won't be leaving you for long periods of time. I'm here to stay and I'd like to stay with you."
"Until when?" you asked, "Until you start up again and go off traveling everywhere? How am I ever supposed to trust you again after what position I found you in? You're going to be off with so many people who are doing so many great things and I'll just be stuck here in this office mulling over whether I should be checking up on you. I don't want to be that girlfriend! I don't want to be the kind of person who doesn't trust her partner. But you've put me in that situation!"
"I've put you in that situation?" Harry asked, his voice raising slightly as he stepped forward and jabbed his finger into his chest, "It was me? I'm the one that turned you a pushover?"
"I'm not a pushover!"
"You are!" Harry cried, "I've said it before on multiple occasions and I'll say it again, that you're too nice! Why can't you just give in, Y/N? Why can't you just allow yourself to be happy for once instead of putting someone first? You're too selfless! You want to be with me. I can tell. Every atom in your body is gravitating towards being with me again but you won't allow yourself too because you're afraid you'll hurt too many people's feelings."
"I'm afraid I'll hurt myself!" you said loudly. You were almost chest to chest with Harry now and you were both breathing hard. "I can't go through that again! I'll break. I'll be done. I won't allow myself to be in that situation again."
"I'm NEVER going to put you through that situation again and you know it!" Harry yelled.
"I've changed, Harry! I've changed from the girl you used to date. I wasn't good enough for you the first time and you found someone else. How am I supposed to settle with my thoughts that I should go back to you when I wasn't good enough the first time. Maybe I won't be good enough this time around either, huh? How long will it take this time before you end up in bed with someone prettier and more capable of being with you?"
"I didn't even sleep with her!" Harry yelled, "Why can't you just understand that I made a horrible mistake that meant nothing to me and now I want to be with the one person who has made me the happiest."
"Because this isn't about you!" you yelled, "For once in my life I'm putting my foot down and I'm making this about me." You stomped and Harry looked down at your foot.
"Did you just literally put your foot down?" he asked quietly with a slight chuckle.
"Shut up," you mumbled, crossing your arms again and looking away from him.
"It's was cute," he shrugged.
"No," you shook your head, "We're getting off topic. I can't be with you, Harry. There. I said it. It's final. I can't be with you. I can't put myself into a situation where I won't be happy just because it's what is best for you. I'm doing just as you said and I'm putting myself first this time. I can't do it. I'm sorry. I love you and I know that you meant everything you said. I accept your apology but I can't go through this again. I can't."
The tears in Harry's eyes startled you as they broke the surface of his eyes and ran down his face quietly. He sniffled and looked off to the side, tilting his head up in an attempt to keep the tears in.
He finally looked back at you and nodded, "You really mean it?" he asked quietly, turning his sleeves into sweater paws before crossing his arms and almost folding into himself. This was difficult for you on so many levels considering you loved him more than you'd ever loved anyone before. But it needed to be done. You couldn't keep playing this game because you knew in the end it would just hurt you.
"You know I'd do anything for you," he whispered, not even caring for the tears falling now as he nodded to himself. "I flew to New York to get you back and I'd do it again."
"That was a long time ago," you said softly. You stepped forward and used the tips of your sleeves to wipe his tears even though more replaced them rather quickly. "We were different then."
"Not so different that we couldn't work again," he said, "Please, baby ..."
"I'm sorry." Your voice was barely even a whisper as he pulled you into his arms and hugged you, feeling you against him as he burrowed his face into your neck and held you close. You wrapped your arms around his neck and ran your fingers through his hair, scratching his scalp as you felt your shirt collect his tears. "I'm sorry," you whispered again.
Harry pulled away and your faces were so close to each other you couldn't help yourself as you gave him one last peck on his swollen lips. "I'll always love you," you said, "Just, not in the way I did before."
You knew this was complete and utter bullshit because you really did love Harry, maybe even more than before, but you were so afraid of getting hurt again that it outweighed the love.
"I love you too," Harry nodded. He stood up and cleared his throat, grabbing his phone before saying, "Good luck with everything," and walking out.
You left the office shortly after that considering you knew you were going to cry at any moment and as soon as you were in your apartment, you lunged for the alcohol. Crying always seemed more valid when you had alcohol.
When you woke up the next morning, you squinted around and stumbled to find the ringing of your phone in the depths of your bed. On the fifth ring you found it and grumbled as normally as you could, "Hello?"
"You sound like death," Kendall said cheerily, "How are you?"
"What do you want?" you groaned and flopped back on the bed. "I was sleeping."
"Meaning things went well and there's a Harry in your bed or things didn't and there's a bottle in your bed?"
"Bottle," you said softly, looking over at the empty beer bottles on your nightstand. "Netflix is here too."
"I'm coming over."
"What? No! I haven't even showered," you whined.
"I'm coming over." Kendall hung up without even saying anything more and you groaned, scavenging around for a pair of sunglasses before walking outside and finding the hose. It was a Wednesday, meaning you needed to water your plants out front and you were watering them when Kendall's car pulled up.
"Oh my God. What are you wearing?" she asked, turning you to look at her.
"Sweatpants?"
"I mean on your face. What even kind of sunglasses are those?"
"They're a little big on me I know," you grumbled, "But they stop the glare," you looked to Kendall, "Apparently they don't work on your glare though considering you're looking at me like that."
"Are you out of your damn mind?!" she cried.
"Please keep your voice down," you sighed, "I'm hungover."
"Does it look like I care?!" Kendall yelled, "You just threw away the best thing that has ever happened to you! Are you dumb?"
"Obviously not," you miffed, "I just made the decision I knew would be the best in the long run."
"You're such an idiot," Kendall groaned and made little fists as she hit her forehead a couple times in frustration and turned away from you, doing a small lap before coming back and facing you while taking a deep breath.
"Harry," she began, "Is the best thing that has ever happened to you. You are happier with him and more confident and all around a better person when you're by his side." She was lecturing you and pointing her finger while shaking it in your face as if that was going to make this situation any better.
"I don't -" you started.
"I'm not finished," Kendall snapped, "Now, usually I just let you do your own thing and I don't meddle in your business."
"You set me up on over twenty dates," you said, "How is that not meddling?"
"That's besides the point," Kendall blew it off with a wave of her hand. "The point is, that I don't think you know how much of an effort Harry has been making to get back with you. Did I let our relationship go a little too far? Yes. I just was really craving having someone I could call my own and I know it was selfish and I made a mistake blah blah blah. BUT the point, is that he's done so much to get you back into his life. He gave you space," she said, ticking it off on one of her fingers. You groaned. There was going to be a list.
"He stopped drinking," she ticked off another fingers, "Which, by the way, is a huge step for him. But he hasn't had anything to drink since he got plastered and almost slept with that girl."
"Thank you for reminding me," you pointed out.
"He's also been asking about you to like, everyone, whenever we're out having conversations. Making sure you're doing well and have everything you need. Asking about your parents. Asking if you're eating and drinking enough. Asking if you're drinking too much. Making sure you're all fine and set in your apartment. He literally asks the most specific things about you because HE KNOWS YOU SO WELL."
"Okay but -"
"No!" Kendall shook her head, "He's done. He's given up. If you think that you can mess around with his feelings in the hopes that one day when you're still single and need someone that you can go back to him, he's not going to be there! He got on a plane to London earlier this morning. He's gone, Y/N, and you've gone and messed it all up."
Her words finally hit something in you that shocked you to the core. No matter how many weeks went by after the breakup, you always knew Harry would come back around. You always knew he was going to be there for you and even when he was with Kendall, you knew he was going to support you. But now he had given up. You'd pushed him to the end and he had taken his leave. He wasn't going to be in your life anymore.
" - plus, now I'm going to have to deal with both of you being all mopey which isn't going to be fun for me," Kendall huffed as she continued, "Are you even listening to me?!"
"I have to go," you said, shoving the hose at her and running up the stairs to your apartment.
"Where are you going?! I'm not doing lecturing you yet!" Kendall called after you as she jogged to keep up. She slipped into the elevator last minute as you hit the button repeatedly. "You can't run away from me, Y/N. I know where you put your spare key."
"Yeah everyone knows," you mumbled, "I'm not running away from you."
"Where do you think you're going?" Kendall asked, crossing her arms and demanding an answer as you pushed past her towards your apartment.
You ducked under your bed and grabbed your carry on suitcase, stuffing whatever was around you clothes wise into it and ruffling through your nightstand for your passport.
"I'm going to London," you said, "I've made a big mistake."
Kendall gasped and started clapping excitedly, her squeals echoing around your apartment. "I'll book your ticket now!" she cried. "Wow, I should lecture you more often."
"Please don't," you said, "This is a one time gig. I'm still the smarter friend of the two of us."
"You have your moments," Kendall mumbled as she typed away on her phone. "This is so exciting. He's going to be so shocked. Oh my God."
"If he even takes me back," you sighed, "I said some shitty things to him last night. I was a bitch."
"You'll be fine," Kendall dismissed the thought as she watched you bustle around your apartment grabbing shoes and a coat.
"It'll be cold there right?" you asked, "Yeah it's winter. Of course it's going to be cold. I'll need to pack pants."
"Okay," Kendall said, taking your hands in her and making you look at her, "First of all, breath," she said before taking in a deep breath and watching you follow. "Good. Now. Your flight leaves whenever you're ready - you're using the jet - and so take a moment to pack and calm down and then I'll drive you to the airport."
"Why are you helping me?" you asked, "I'm literally stealing your boyfriend."
"He was yours first," Kendall shrugged, "And I think we both know that he always was."
"Still," you sighed, "I've always been the one packing for you and now here you are helping me."
"That's what friends are for, duh," Kendall rolled her eyes, "Besides, you're too nice to ask for help. So I'll just push my way into your life and help you regardless."
"You're too good to me," I sighed.
"Oh you might also want to pack a rain jacket. Either it'll be raining or you'll be drowning in your tears, but regardless you'll need one."
"And so supportive," you chuckled. You couldn't believe you were actually doing this, but deep down you knew you would have whether Kendall had said anything or not. You just hoped it wasn't too late and Harry would forgive you. With one last pair of leggings, you zipped up your carry on and Kendall took your hand, dragging you out of your apartment and into her car.
"I want details when you get back," she said as she drove you to the airport, "If you come back. Oh my gosh please don't elope without me."
"Calm down," you chuckled, "You're getting ahead of yourself."
"I always do," Kendall sighed, "Okay there's the jet. They'll do security and check your passport on the tarmac. Now go!" She gave you one last hug before you climbed out of the car and towards the plane.
Shit, you thought, you were actually doing this.
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