Prologue

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September 12, 4:39 PM: The car travels down the long winded road. There is no one and nothing for miles atop the mountain; no one to hear the condescending phrases muttered under their breaths, no one to correct the patronising looks. No one to hear the sorrowful tears. They stream down her face silently as she leans against the window, tiny breaths fogging up the glass. It's green and grey outside, green from the trees below and grey from the skies above. She can't help but think it's gloomy.

As the patter of the rain grows, so do the comments that shower upon her, as if the onslaught of raindrops only fuels their anger and disappointment. The stupid radio doesn't even come close to drowning out her parents.

She holds their scoldings close to her heart. She just... doesn't know what to do with them.

It is cruel but sometimes, she wishes they'd disappear, or she disappears, one way or another.

There is a flash of lightning that strikes somewhere in the forest. She perks up in interest, nose twitching slightly and her tears halt, but only briefly.

Her mother hisses her name, and it's like a slap back to reality. She is asked why she never listens. She's reminded of how her parents have sacrificed everything for her. She gets everything she wants. She goes to a prestigious school. Sometimes, she doesn't even have to do chores, her mother does them for her.

But she... doesn't understand why she hates it.

There is an exasperated sigh from her mother. Is it considered a sigh? It's shorter, angrier than a sigh. All she knows is her mother's breathing in deeply as if she's fuming, gritting her teeth at her daughter.

"要吐血..."

She winces at the phrase. She shrinks, pressing herself into the seats of the car as she fiddles with the golden case of her phone, trying to switch it on but it's dead. She wants to melt into the textured fabrics. She wants to disappear. She grips her forearm tight, blind to the red crescents that bloom under her nails.

She avoids the gaze of her mother who's just turned around. There is so much hatred in her eyes, and she can't understand why someone would have a kid, just to look at them like they ruined their whole lives. There is fire in her eyes as she rolls them, and it burns away what little confidence she has in herself.

The tears threaten to spill again.

Her mother whips back around to face the curve of the road ahead, glaring so furiously at the metal railings that brim the edge of the road.

"...没有用的孩子。"

At this comment, her father takes his eyes off the road for a second, glancing at his child through the rear-view mirror. He has a frown on, but otherwise his eyes are wide and child-like. Sometimes she wonders how someone like him even became a father. He reminds her of some of the boys in her class, yet he's already in his mid-forties.

He smiles without a care in the world.

"Ehh... 不要给你妈妈生气。Okay?"

She winces and her eyes grow wide with disbelief.

"Why do you always take her side?!" she blurts out.

The smile is wiped clean off his face, and he looks visibly older.

"What about me?! Why is it always 'Don't make Mummy angry, don't make Mummy sad'?!" she cries desperately, "Why is that the only thing you ever t-tell me?!"

Her voice is wavering. She thinks she blubbers like some whale.

"妳--!"

Her mother makes a frustrated noise and then she hears a sob.

She wonders if she made her cry.

Judging by the look on her father's face in the mirror, she guesses she did.

The atmosphere in the car is heavy. It's awkward because she doesn't know what to do in this familiar situation. She never has.

Her father looks so sad, but he's the only one that doesn't cry, but what hurts is that he didn't even consider his daughter. All he did was turn to her mother. With only a hand on the wheel, he pats his wife's back, not focusing on the road.

Maybe if he did, this story would be different.

Maybe it wouldn't have happened at all.

"Weih... 不要哭--"

There is a screech and she's thrown to the side.

She remembers seeing the front of a lorry, an ugly dirtied white.

She remembers being blinded by its headlight.

She remembers falling.

Falling like in those horrible dreams, only this time, there is a crash.

And she's forced to close her eyes.

Her wish came true.

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