Natalie |Beyond Heights|

|Twenty-Seven|

June Dunbar

I thought I could lie down and shut out the conversation I had at lunch with Natalie and Lucas. Silent tears dripped on my pillow. What must Natalie think of me? As the words escaped my mouth for the first time, I shuddered inwardly. It sounded horrendous that I would keep my husband from his daughter, because I was jealous of her mama. Evelyn had passed away, yet her memory caused a persistent nagging pain in my chest.

My thoughts overwhelmed my sense of rationalization. It prevented me from being caring or doing the right thing. I sat up in bed against my tufted headboard, pressing my back against it. Where would I begin a conversation with my husband? There was no excuse that I could make in my defense.

There was a light tap at my bedroom door. "Come in?" I wiped at the remnants of tears on my face.

"June, I'm leaving. Daddy is downstairs with the nurse. I think you should sit with him. He looks lost." Natalie reported.

I swung my legs over the side of the bed. Sitting up, I let out a loud sigh. "I'll go to him. I don't imagine he wants to see my face right now,"

"I think it would be good for him to see you making an effort to reach out to him," Natalie lowered her head and spoke quietly.

"Yes, well, I'll go downstairs and ask if he needs anything."

"That would be a good start." She shook her head.

She grabbed the door handle to leave and swung the door open. "Natalie, I'm a good person. I've loved your father since I was a little girl."

She put up her hand, cutting me off. "I'm not the one you need to apologize to. You need to make amends with my sister, Nicole. You and my father need a frank heart to heart also. I'm leaving now." Just like that, she was gone.

I put my hand up to my cheek. "I must look a wreck." I spoke out loud.

I finally stood and wandered over to the mirror. My nose scrunched, as I frowned. My hair was loose from hair my pins. I washed my face and brushed my long blonde locks. I left on my rumpled clothing and descended the stairs. Lucas was staring out of the window while drinking a glass of lemonade. His hand shook.

I held his hand steady while he drank. "That looks refreshing. Jill, can you pour me a glass?"

"Sure Mrs. Dunbar, I'll be right back."

"Thank you." I said over my shoulder, as she headed towards the kitchen.

"Natalie left." Lucas spoke with irritation in his voice, as he clenched his jaw.

"I know Lucas. She came to our room to tell me." I sounded cheerful. But even I didn't believe me.

"Why didn't you tell me how you truly felt about Nicole and Evelyn all these years?" His tired eyes focused their attention on me.

"I've been sitting here reminiscing about holding her as a newborn. I was a new dad and so proud. She was beautiful and reminded me so much of Evelyn. I remember everything about the day Evelyn needed surgery, and finding out there was a second baby." His eyes closed and I could tell he agonized over what happened next.

"Natalie was born and soon after, I lost my wife," he rubbed his eyes and face. My heart broke hearing him relate his experience. He never shared the whole story with me, before now.

"Lucas, can we talk about this later? We need privacy. Jill is still here." I reminded him.

Jill appeared as if on cue. "Here you are. A refreshing glass of lemonade. The secret is putting vanilla extract in it. My friend's mama used to make it like that."