Smile and put on a happy face

The die is cast

- Arthur?

- S-Sophie...

When did she get here? 

- Arthur, what are you doing there?

Sophie drops her umbrella and the bag of groceries she´s carrying and crouches down to look at me.  

- You´re soaked. What happened? Why aren´t you at home?

I try to think of an excuse, any at all. 

- I...forgot my keys... and mom takes some sleeping pills. It´s impossible to wake her...

I´m so ashamed of having to admit what happened today.

- You can´t stay here like this. Come with me. 

Sophie reaches a hand out to me. Only now do I dare to look up at her. She seems worried. I don´t want to bother, I know we barely know each other. And at the same time I have nowhere else to go. 

- Come on, Arthur, you´ll get sick. Let me help you.

I hesitate for a moment, but I realize that Sophie isn´t leaving without me. I take her hand and she helps me up. Without a word, I follow her to her apartment. 

- Gigi!! I´m home!!

Gigi comes running to greet her mother and is surprised when she sees me there as well. 

- Arthur!

- Hello, Gigi.

- Gigi, get me a towel. Quick!!- says Sophie and guides me over to the couch. 

Gigi hurries back with a towel and Sophie puts it around my shoulders, helping me to dry my hair. 

- You need some dry clothes. Let me see what I can find.

- No need. I...got my work clothes right here, I think they didn´t get wet.  

I open the bag and make sure that my things are in fact dry. 

- Great. Come, Gigi. Let´s give Arthur some space so he can change.

They leave me alone for a while. It´s such a relief to take the wet clothes off my body. I´m so embarrassed that Sophie will see me in my clown trousers, short, wide and patched everywhere. When I´m working and become Carnival, the clown, I don´t mind it. The outfit is supposed to be somewhat ridiculous. But I don´t want to be Carnival in front of Sophie. Still, I have no other choice. I remove my shoes and put on the trousers. I have to stay barefoot because I have no other pair of socks. I take the clown shirt which has little red and green dots and pull the sleeves up my arms. As I´m doing this, Sophie returns.  

- Arthur, do you need a pair of-

She´s frozen on the spot when she sees me and she covers her mouth with one hand. 

- Arthur what happened to you?!

For a second I´m clueless. And then I realize she´s looking at my still exposed chest, her eyes fixed on the green and purple marks that cover my skin, on the small wounds that still haven´t healed and on my protruding ribs and sunken stomach. As I see her horrified face, I cover my body with my arms, trying to hide it from her view and I look down. I didn´t want her to see me like this. Shame mortifies me. How could someone want to see something so awful? How could such a beautiful woman want to come anyway near such a mishandled man? 

But Sophie walks over to me…and puts a hand on my shoulder. 

- Let me see you.

Her voice is soft, barely a whisper. Her hands carefully take my wrists and pull my arms away from my body, making it visible again.