Smile and put on a happy face

Face to face

There´s not much to choose from in my wardrobe, but I do my best to find clothes that are in better shape, the least worn out pieces. I pick a dark shirt that I hadn´t used in a long time. Regarding the trousers, I think the blues ones are the newest. Newest means less old. I only have one pair of shoes, but with a bit of polishing it´ll do. I just hope to make a good impression. It´s not every day that you get to meet your father for the first time. Finally, I throw the yellow sweater over my shoulders, the one I wear daily. It´s quite old but it´s the only thing I have to keep me warm.     

Last night I saw Thomas Wayne on the TV again. He talked about a charity event he would attend tonight. This is my chance. I need to see him, I need to talk to him. 

As I arrive at the station closest to the theater, I´m faced with a huge multitude of people. It´s a protest, just like they had anticipated on the news last night. Everybody is wearing clown masks and holding big signs in their hands.

“Wayne clown”

“Kill the rich”

“We´re all clowns”

I make my way through the crowd, fascinated. Is this the reaction to Wayne´s statements? Are these masks a reflection of my own face? Am I, in some strange way, the cause of all of this? The crowd reaches all the way down to the gates of the theater, where police officers barricade the entrance so that the protesters won´t block it. Those closest to the gate clash with the police men and chaos breaks out. I take my chance and sneak in through a small door on one side of the building. I´m inside but I need to find a way of going unnoticed. I see a wardrobe in a corner. As I open it, I find a collection of bellboy suits. It´s the perfect disguise. I pick one in my size and put it on. 

I go up the stairs that lead to the main hall. People come and go without even noticing me. No one is aware of my presence. This place is stunning, it´s so big and beautiful. I reach the top from where I have an amazing view over the entire theater. I´m breathless. It´s majestic. Great pillars rise from the ground and reach as high as the ceiling. The floors are covered with red velvet, there are details in every corner, beautiful paintings and all kinds of luxury, such as you can only imagine in a dream. I´ve never been in a place like this…

People drop in and take their seats. Unlike the multitude on the streets, this one is a silent multitude. While outside they´re yelling, here nobody talks or laughs too loud. Who are these people in faultless suits and shining shoes? I´ve never seen people walking so proud. They resemble demigods more than men. The air smells of all kinds of fragrances and the women´s dresses shine like diamonds. So much wealth can´t do other but to give beauty. I try to imagine Sophie in a dress like that…   

The lights turn dim, announcing the beginning of the show. I stop in the middle of a corridor, doing my best to not attract anyone´s attention. I didn´t know they were showing a Charlie Chaplin film and I´m gladly surprised as I see him on the big screen. I love Chaplin. He makes me laugh. 

I enjoy the show in silence while my eyes search for Thomas Wayne. There he is, he´s unmistakable. An elegant woman is sitting next to him, surely his wife. I don´t take my eyes off him until I see him get up and head to the restroom. This is my chance. I follow him cautiously. 

The bathroom is about ten times the size of my apartment. There´s marble floors and walls, the sinks are decorated with gold and big crystal lamps shine from the ceiling. Eyesight doesn´t adjust to such radiance easily.       

There in the back I see Wayne. I stop at the entrance and take off the red suit. I check myself in the mirror and fix my messy hair. Another fancy dressed gentleman walks past me on his way out, leaving me alone with Wayne. Contrasted to such elegance, my own clothes which seemed so appropriate to me when I left the apartment, suddenly seem like rag. My sad face dishonors this place that is filled with smiles. It´s so obvious that I don´t belong here. I´m ashamed of my own image and I feel very small, perhaps even dirty. My presence is an insult to this palace. 

Wayne turns around and heads over to the sink. I take a small step towards him but I don´t know what to say. 

- Can I help you, pal?- he asks as he walks by, but without really looking at me. 

- Dou you want an autograph?

- No…- I say softly.

I stand behind him, keeping a fair distance. I don´t mean to be intrusive. Wayne doesn´t turn around and just watches me through the mirror while he washes his hands. 

-Then what is it? What do you want?

I stuff my hands in the pockets of my trousers. My shoulders shrug slightly. 

-My- my name is Arthur. My mom is Penny…Penny Fleck. I´m sorry I just showed up like this here, but…she told me everything about you and I…I had to see you… 

Wayne remains frozen for a second. I wait to see surprise on his face, to see emotion in his eyes for getting to know his son. But he just stares at me and shakes his head. 

-Jesus…I´m not your father, kid.

He finally turns around and looks at me. 

-What did you say your name was? 

-Arthur, sir. My name´s Arthur. I´m a clown and also a comedian. 

I stretch my hand out to him. It´s necessary to introduce ourselves properly. But he slides his own hands into his pockets and eyes me from head to toe. 

-And you think that I could be the father of a clown? Hahahaha. Come on, what´s wrong with you?!

I feel a lump in my throat. I wasn´t expecting him to laugh at me… Wayne is tall and handsome and I feel so insecure standing in front of him. But I see familiar features in his face. 

-Look at us…- I say shyly –I think you could be.-

He cuts me off right away. 

-I´m not your father because you´re adopted and I never slept with your mother. 

-I wasn´t adopted.- I reply, completely confused.

Where does he get this absurd idea?

-God, did your mom never tell you? She adopted you while she was working for us.

 -No, That´s not true!! Why are you saying this??

Wayne´s words produce an awful feeling in my stomach. 

-Your mother was delusional. They locked her up in Arkham. 

-Stop saying these things!! 

Anxiety takes hold of me and Wayne is visibly annoyed. 

- WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME? IS IT MONEY??

- I DON´T WANT ANYTHING!!- I raise my voice but it also breaks.

 - Maybe just a bit of warmth, DAD!! How about a hug?? A little bit of decency?? WHAT IS IT WITH YOU PEOPLE?? Look, I don´t mean to make you uncomfortable, I don´t know why everyone is so rude!! I just came here to talk to you, but you yell at me and say these awful things about my mother!!

 -She´s a sick woman, she´s crazy.

-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

-WHAT? Is this some kind of joke to you?!

- HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA, please…it´s me, dad!!!

And then all of the sudden I feel his fist hitting my face.

 -Stay away from me!!

It nearly knocks me out and I have to lean against the sink to stay on my feet. Blood runs from my nose just as tears run from my eyes. Wayne leaves. I don´t understand what just happened. Why does he say all these things about mom?? Is there any truth in what he´s saying?? And if there isn´t, why would he lie to me?? I´m so confused… Why does he beat me?? I didn´t do anything to him, I didn´t ask for anything, I was trying to be nice…I just wanted to meet my dad. I don´t get people and I certainly don´t get the world either…