Smile and put on a happy face

Sympathy for the devil

That´s life…that´s what all the people say...

You´re riding high in April, shot down in May…

But I know I´m gonna change that tune when I´m back on top, back on top in June…

Green, that´s what the hair of my clown was like. Well then, mine shall be so, too!! I paint my hair green. The color splashes against the walls, the mirror and the sink. The drops of paint run down my naked torso, leaving green trails on my skin. There's something in me that awakens beneath the Surface, it consumes me and takes hold of me. Not against my will, I stand beside my own reflection once more. 

I said, that´s life…

And as funny as it may seem, some people get their kicks…

Stomping on a dream… 

There´s music streaming through the blood that runs in my veins… you don´t hear music with the ears, you feel it in the bones…it vibrates!! And today I feel it stronger than ever, it´s not a lonely melody anymore, it´s an entire orchestra!! How is it that no one else can perceive it?

But I don´t let it…let it get me down…

´Cause this fine old world…it keeps spinning around…

With Penny gone, the apartment belongs only to me. I toss her things on the floor and with a cigarette between my fingers I sit down in front of the mirror in the bedroom. That useless mirror where she used to do her makeup for the boyfriends she no longer had. I slick my hair back and with a brush I apply a layer of white paint all over my face, including my tongue. I separate from this face I knew, for it´s not truly mine. I divorce from everything that contained me. Nobody, not even myself would recognize me. But this is my real skin.  

The sun is setting. The clock takes life from me but pushes me closer to my big moment. I feel like I´m awakening from a long dream. I´ve been sitting in the shadows, living for tomorrow, but I won´t sit here and wait for a miracle no more. I´m not going to be a background noise. I want to go out and play with the storm. Whatever comes, I´m leaving it all to chance. Whatever the outcome is, my finest hour still awaits me!! 

I´ve been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet, a pawn and a king…

This is what I really am!! I´ve always been at the bottom, down, on the lowest of the stairs. I´ve been stepped on by everyone. But now I´m at the top and I sit on the throne like the king of the wretched, the king of all clowns!! I´m strong like a storm, elegant like the night and great like the end of the fucking world!!  

Someone knocks on the door. It can only be those detectives. They knock again. I cannot let them get me, not now that I´m so close. But there´s a problem, I only have one bullet left in the gun and it´s for myself. I need some other weapon. I search the drawers on my left and find a pair of scissors. I check if they´re sharp and stuff them in my pants. But when I open the door I find something unexpected. It´s Randall and Gary. What are they doing here?

- Hey Arthur- says Gary - How´s it going?-

- Oh, hey guys!!- I say, a little surprised -Come on in!-

- You got a new gig?- Gary asks.

- No…

- Oh you must be going down to that rally at City Hall. I heard it´s going to be nuts.- says Randall.

- Was that today?- I ask. I had no idea, honestly.

- Yes.- Randall replies and looks at me in confusion - What´s with the makeup then?-