Smile and put on a happy face

Penny's letters

The paint runs down the sink. I remove even the last drop of makeup. The traces vanish and the cold water on my face brings me back to reality. I look up. I´m faced with a mirror once again. But this one is clearer. I´m home. Behind the makeup my true face reappears. Who am I, though? There´s still blood running down my nose and my lip is torn. My clothes…they´re all stained with red. I take them off and toss them intto a corner in the bathroom. The shirt, the vest, even the trousers. I leave only my underwear on. I have to get rid of everything, everything that has blood on it. My hands…my hands are also covered with blood!! Oh, damn color, impossible to remove!! I wash them frantically until I erase even the last trace. What happened tonight? My eyes fall on the bag. For a second I feel hopeful. Maybe none of this was real. Maybe I just got jumped as usual and this is all my own blood. But when I open the bag, I find the gun…and it´s empty. I did indeed do it… 

Luckily mom didn´t hear me coming in. She must be fast asleep, as usual. I don´t turn any lights on. I just light a cigarette and sit down to smoke and calm myself. My hands…there´s still blood on my hands. Even if they´re no longer stained with red, I can feel the sensation of that color on my skin. My legs shake violently and I feel a laughing fit building up inside me. What have I done?

-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

I take one of the cushions from the couch and press it against my face to drown the sound of my laughter. My forehead is covered with sweat and even though I´m almost naked, I don´t feel cold. 

-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

I bend over. My jar aches from all the effort I do to hold myself together. The laughing fit shakes up all of my body. I know the walls of the building are very thin and I just hope that no one can hear me. 

Knock knock.

I get up as if I had been hit by lightning. My heart races. No…please no. Sophie?

Knock knock.

-Arthur?

My eyes are glued to the door from where her voice comes. My feet retreat until my back hits the wall behind me. The table where I sit down to write my diary is next to me. My hand holds the back of the chair, I move it aside, get down on my knees and crawl under the table, covering my ears with both hands. My body rocks back and forth maniacally. I don't want to hear that sound. Sophie…please go… I can´t touch you with these hands…

I wake up on the couch and I can´t remember how I got there. Bit by bit, I replay the events of last night in my head. I take a bath with ice cold water and shortly after, mom calls me to help her out of bed and into the living room where she turns on the TV and watches the news, like every morning. She doesn´t notice anything. It´s simply another day, just like any other. I make breakfast in the kitchen, as I always do. 

-Happy, Thomas Wayne is on TV! Come and see! They´re asking him about some horrible killing in the subway last night. 

I nearly drop my plate as I hear this. 

- Why him?- I wonder and hurry over to the TV. 

There´s Wayne. 

-The three of them were employees at Wayne Corporation. I didn´t know them in person, but to us all our employees, past and present, are family. 

-Did you hear that? He said we´re family. I told you.

-Shhh mom, I want to hear!

The faces of those three men stare at me from the screen. I recognize them right away. 

-There seems to be an anti-rich sentiment going around in the city. It´s as if the less fortunate ones are taking the side of the killer.- says the reporter who´s interviewing Wayne.