abused//joshler

Thirty One.

tylers pov

*small tw: mentions of self harm*

i pulled up to columbus park around 8:56 pm. i saw matty sitting on a park bench, smoking a cigarette. besides him, no one else was really there. maybe like 1 or 2 people walking by every few minutes, but not many at all. i wanted to leave, should i leave ? all i could think about is what happens if i go but what happens if i don't? will josh be mad?

i decided to get out of the car , i locked the doors and started walking towards the park bench that matty was on.

"hey ty!" matty said , sounding different.

"hey." i said back, while still cringing at the sound of my name coming out of his mouth.

matty went in for a hug, i took a step back.

"um, okay." matty said , sitting back down on the park bench. he nodded towards me to sit down next to him. i didn't want to, but i did anyway. "listen ty," i cringed again. "i'm sorry. i was horrible to you before, and you deserve better than me, but i'm here to ask you if you'll give me another chance?"

"matty," i moved further away from him. "i'm with josh now."

"you're with josh? who's josh?!" i could tell matty was starting to get mad, i hated when he was mad, i still do. 

"he's my neighbor." i replied.

"so i'm gone for a year and you're fucking other dudes!" matty screamed this time, getting the attention of someone walking past, but they didn't stop.

"matty. we broke up. you abused me, you went to jail for abusing me, and you expect me to 1. not move on and 2. to get back together with you?" i'm sorry that just cant happen. i loved you, even after the horrible things you did to me, but you never loved me."

"i did love you" matty said defensively.

"oh yea, then what're these?" i said as i lifted up my sleeve. self harm scars and cigarette burns.

mattys face changed. "i never gave you those scars, you did it yourself. everything i did to you was your own fault. yet you still don't realize it."

i was mad beyond belief but i couldn't stand up to matty like that. not even now. "whatever, matty, i gotta go." i said grabbing my keys and turning around.

"no you're not. you think you can jus leave me ?"

-

m
11/27/19
word count: 425 words
happy thanksgiving. i love u ! keep pushing thru.