Roman

six

Okay I know the story has been pretty slow so far, but I promise it will get better soon. Let me know what you think of the update!

What do you want in a life partner? The question is simple, but the answer is difficult, so tangled up in my past and my hopeful future. Honestly I don't think about it much, though I should because, even though I'm only a freshman, it won't be long before I am out of college and meeting someone is so much harder after leaving school, and if I have no clue what I want, how will I ever even find someone temporarily? I am also hesitant to answer because I am acutely conscious of the fact that Roman has turned down the radio ever so slightly, to hear my answer or Naomi's I'm not quite sure. As my mind wanders to him, I catch his eye once again in the rear-view mirror, his dark eyes watching me softly.

"Since you're taking so long, I'm just going to go," Naomi says, looking out the window. "I have always wanted someone who will love me for me and all that romantic stuff, but I have also realized that I need someone to keep me in check. Sadie, I feel like you have done a pretty good job at keeping my feet on earth, but I also know that I can't rely on you forever because you will probably find the love of your life before me. So, I guess my answer is someone who knows me well enough to keep me from getting in over my head. Ugh, that seems too simple, but I have realized that what I thought I wanted or needed in high school wasn't realistic, although I still need someone who can cook because if I'm hopeless." Naomi looks out of the window thoughtfully. "I'm still not sure if I want kids or not though. On one hand they are cute and all, but I just don't know if I want to be a mother, you know? But you certainly need to have kids so I can be a godmother." Naomi turns back to me, her face slightly flushed. "Do you think that was a full enough answer? I know I'm a little all over the place, but I'm not planning on settling down until I have established myself with work and all."

"That was good Naomi. I just feel like I still need a minute. This is a lot harder now that I could potentially meet my future husband any day now." My gaze flickers back up to Roman before I opt to look out the window as Naomi had, seeming like the safer option.

"Oi. Ro. If you listen you have to share." Naomi smiles, knowing she's caught her brother off guard.

"Okay." Naomi and I glance at each other with genuine surprise. This will be interesting. "I need someone who knows how to take care of me. You two both know fully well how bad my head can get. I also want someone I can take care of, it sounds bad to say I want someone who needs me, but I want someone who will rely on me, even if she is perfectly fine on her own. I want someone who will make my life better simply by being in it. Hell, I just want someone who will make me happy."

My eyes fall to the sleeping Cassey, who is leaning as far away from Roman as is humanly possible in the front seat of the van. Her hair falls around her face in a halo, she is truly gorgeous. I always try my best not to be jealous of her because I know Roman well enough to know that her looks are not what keeps her around, but she is beautiful in a way I always hoped to be. Her flat stomach and small breasts allow her to look good no matter what she wears, her long legs place her just above Roman's chin at 5' 9". But somehow, despite the beauty sitting beside him, I know that Roman hasn't found what he is looking for.

"I also want a kid or two," he laughs lightly. "And I know this isn't how things work, but I want two girls." My stupid heart flutters at the image of Roman smiling down at a beautiful baby girl. "But enough about me. I think it's your turn kid."

"Hold on, not so fast Ro," Naomi's voice softens, "I never knew you wanted two girls."

"Yeah," he shrugs.

"That's all you're going to say?" I shake my head at him.

"Yup. That's all you get. Now it's your turn kid."

"This is not easy. Okay. I think the biggest thing is that I need someone who will help put me back together. I need someone who knows how fucked up my head is and how to get me to stop thinking. I also want someone who will be there to tell me that everything is okay. Fuck. I really just need a best friend."

"A best friend who you fuck." Naomi sniggers.

"Shut up." I giggle. "But yes. I also want to have maybe one baby but then adopt a few too. So, I guess I need someone who is okay with that too since I know it's not for everyone. Is that a good enough answer? I mean I could go into what my type is but one, I feel like we have been over that, and two, I feel like we are kind of over it."

"Well, how about this? Separate question. What's your type? And I want all the gory details." Naomi grins at me. "Just don't tell me you have a massive daddy kink and want guys to choke you."

"Oh shut up." I throw a stray chip at her. "You know that I like my men more, I don't know, rugged, I guess. I don't like the pretty boys like you do. Honestly, there's a pretty wide range of attractiveness too. I still stand by my statement that height is directly proportional to attractiveness tho. Also, rough hands are the death of me; not that I have this experience, but rough hands on your waist as he holds you. Yes please. As far as kinks go though, I think I'm good." My face flushes as my confessions that are no news to Naomi, fall to intent ears.

My stupid unfaithful eyes wander back to Roman. His large hands clench the steering wheel, his shoulders tense. His soft, brown hair falls over his forehead, just short of his eyebrows. His nose just a bit too large, but his lips just right. I watch his chest rise and fall with his steady breath and remember how it felt to be held there. God. I thought I was getting over him. Why can't I just let him go?

"Well ladies." Roman interrupts gently from the front seat. "Where to first?"