Roman

sixteen

Hello lovelies! Welcome to quarantine. Hope you enjoy the update. I'm excited for where this story is going. Anyways, let me know what you think. Comment and vote and things, you know the drill.

Roman and I walk into the kitchen, still holding hands, to find his mom and dad making breakfast together. Mrs. Brandon's eyes go wide when she looks between the two of us and our intertwined hands. I give her a sheepish smile and lift my head off her son's shoulder. Roman looks down at me, his eyes flashing with concern and I just smile at him. He takes his free hand and gently pushes my head back down on his shoulder.

"I always wondered when you were going to come to your senses," Mr. Brandon says gruffly, before pulling his wife back to the breakfast in progress with an arm around her waist. They both turn back to their little project of making a massive breakfast of crepes and copious amounts of fruit.

Roman just shakes his head and leads me out of the kitchen, "Come on girlie." There it was again. That nickname. I'm really not sure what to make of it, but at least he's not calling me kid anymore. He leads me past the living room where Naomi is laying on the floor on her phone and the boys are playing some video game. We walk out the front door to the porch, where the late morning sun warms a couch that looks out at a park across the street. He sits down first, and I settle myself next to him, curling my legs underneath me. We sit there for a few minutes, watching a family at the park. The mother is pushing two younger kids on a swing, while the father plays catch with an older boy.

Roman clears his throat and I hesitantly look up at him, not sure what to expect. "How are you doing? Now that you're not..."

I immediately know what he means and I drop my gaze to my lap, not wanting to look at him anymore. Why did he have to bring this up? "Oh. Yeah. I'm doing good. It's just nice to be out of it, ya know?" I don't say anything else because this is the last thing that I want to think about, let alone talk about. I can feel myself starting to shut down.

"That's good. I'm just so glad that you are out of that situation. It really worried me, knowing that you were there."

I close my eyes and try to keep my breathing under control. My pulse pounds against my ears. Pressure builds in my head and causes a dull aching at the base of my skull. I bite the insides of my lips to try to center myself; sometime if I make myself bleed, the taste of blood snaps me out of it. It used to give me a sense of control, that at least I was the one making myself bleed.

Suddenly I start to regain feeling of my body and I feel Roman's arms around me as he rocks me gently. The action is soothing and I force myself to focus on our swaying instead of the toxic thoughts. Finally, I am able to open my eyes; everything is blurry and it causes my eyes to water. Over the years, I have mastered the art of not crying while having one of these episodes, but now that my eyes are watering, I can no longer hold back my tears. Great.

"I'm sorry Sadie. I'm sorry." Roman just keeps whispering into my hair that he is sorry while continuing to hold me tight to him. I brush away my tears with a little bit of difficulty because Roman has my arms trapped under his large ones. I lean back so that my head is resting against his shoulder and close my eyes. Roman stops whispering and looks down at me. I can't imagine that I look at all attractive from that angle but at least Roman looks less than perfect too.

Roman's eyes are red and his face is flushed. I feel bad for reacting the way I did but just the thought of that time of my life screws with my head big time. I'm glad that it's all over now, but I hate that it happened in the first place. I hate that I had to grow up with that weighing me down, but I also know that it put me in a better spot for the rest of my life. I just wish I didn't have to hurt so much.

Roman presses a slow kiss to my forehead then lets the arm that is farther away from me fall to my lap, resting on my outside leg, effectively holding my legs against his. He rests his head against my own and starts to rub soothing patterns on my leg. I close my eyes and just enjoy the feeling of being here, like this with him. I have no idea what we are, but I don't want to have to think about that right now.

Roman holds me for a few more minutes before we hear that breakfast is ready. We go inside and start to get food. I sit next to Naomi on one side of the table, while Roman sits next the Theo, who is across from me; just like old times. Well almost. John is squished between Roman and Theo, looking out of place. I'm not sure when John and Theo became good friends, but I was much more used to seeing Cassey squished between the two of them. The thought Cassey sours my stomach, she had been around for almost five years, and I can't say that I'm upset that she's gone, it's just that Roman is single for the first time in years, and he's now oddly affectionate. I try not to think about Roman just using me because he is lonely, but the thought just won't go away.

"Thank guys, this is amazing," I mumble between bites of my crepe. The dining hall food just can't top this.

Everyone else at the table follows my lead in thanking Mr. and Mrs. Brandon for their amazing breakfast.

|~|

After we all finish eating, the boys decide to go to the gym and play a game of basketball. That leaves us girls to go shopping. Mrs. Brandon tells us to go get in her car while she grabs her wallet, promising that she would pay for us to get some new clothes or anything else we needed.

Naomi climbs into the front seat while I sit in the back of Mrs. Brandon's sedan. I'm not sure what I need, but I know that Naomi will definitely find something that will, inevitably, be something I couldn't believe I was living without.

As soon as Naomi's mom joins us and starts to pull out of the garage, she decides to be a little bitch. "So, you and Roman were awfully cuddly this morning."

I immediately slam my head down into my palm and try to fight off the blush rising in my cheeks. "I—uh..." I trail off.

"Oh, I think you two are just adorable," Mrs. Brandon gushes. "I personally think he needs someone more like you. Not that I didn't love Cassey, I guess I just always thought he would realize that they weren't meant for each other."

"That's exactly what I said," Naomi twists around in her seat to wink at me. Very subtle. "I'm just glad they didn't date while we were in high school because I probably would have lost it. No offense Sades."

"I think you would be good for him." I flush at Mrs. Brandon's words. I'm not sure if I believe it, but I know that he is good for me.

"I don't know. He and Cassey just broke up. I mean they were together for years; I don't think I could just come in and replace her."

"Oh, trust me, you don't have to replace her. I don't think Roman has really loved her for a long time. It is better for both of them that they aren't together anymore." She pauses and looks between her mom, "Sadie, please, we all know that you are good enough for him, just don't get too in your head about this okay. There is nothing for you to lose. I will always be right by your side, okay?" She looks at me with sad eyes. She knows my very soul. She knows all my worries.

"I love you Naomi. I will try not to get in my head about this. I just don't want to read into anything if he doesn't actually like me."

"That is understandable, honey. Just give it sometime and see how it goes. Just know that even if you two don't end up together, that boy loves you."