Don't Leave Me | Analogical

13. Love Poems

POV: Logan

I couldn't stop pacing around the apartment. Despite my best efforts to sit and calm down, I couldn't stop my feet from carrying me around in an iterative manner. My thoughts raced faster than usual and my eyes subconsciously kept glancing at the front door.

The dinner I had made lay set out on the table, ready to eat. Exactly an hour had passed since Virgil had left the place and it was more than enough time to go to the shop and back. Had something happened? Had he been kidnapped? Should I call the police? Virgil was occasionally lazy, but his anxiety usually prevented him from being late anywhere.

The thoughts started to spiral down a less desirable path. What if he just walked out on me? What if something had finally made him realise he could do better? Find someone better?

No, I was being irrational. There could be a million reasons why he hasn't returned yet.

But what if...?

Judging from past experiences, there was a fair chance he was fed up with me. It had happened twice in my life already, right? Why not a third time? There was a clear pattern.

Some small part of my brain was screaming at me to stop overthinking. He promised he wouldn't leave.

So had the others.

The small voice of hope was quickly drowned out by the surge of troubling thoughts that consumed my consciousness. I could feel myself start shaking as I realised this could possibly be the end all over again. The pain, the tears, the loss; I was going to be forced to go through it all again.

No! I couldn't do it! I physically wouldn't be able to survive it a third time.

"Oh my god, Logan!"

Virgil's voice was like a bucket of cold water being dumped over me and yanking me back to the present.

I opened my eyes and saw Virgil's face inches from mine, his pale hands cupping my face gently. When had I closed them? My brain slowly caught up with reality and I realised I was curled up in the corner of the kitchen, tears spilling down my cheeks and sobs forcing their way through me.

"It's okay, I'm here." The emo boy reassured me quietly and wiped the tears away using his thumb. He we kneeling in front of me, his gaze full of worry and fear. "Did you hurt yourself? What happened?"

I shook my head quickly—I wasn't physically hurt, he didn't need to worry about that. I couldn't tear my eyes away from his face, my gaze taking in his delicate features as if seeing them for the first time. Moments ago, I had thought I'd never see him again and here he was. Still here. Still by my side.

Virgil must have noticed how eagerly I was looking at him because he suddenly sighed and pulled me into a hug. I gladly buried my face in his shoulder and held onto him tightly, melting at how comfortable it was to have him in my arms again.

"I thought... I thought you wouldn't... come back." I managed to choke out, my voice muffled by his shoulder. I pulled back a bit to look at him again, as if to make sure he wasn't going to disappear. "It's stupid... and irrational, I know, but I couldn't stop the thoughts. I tried to, I swear!"

"Shh, Logan it's okay." Virgil once again wiped away the tears that had started to spill again. "You don't need to explain yourself. Sometimes it's impossible to stop spiralling, believe me, I know."

"Thank you Virgil." I sniffed and adjusted my glasses. "I'm glad you didn't... leave." I was aware how small my voice got at the last word but I couldn't do anything about it.

"And I have no intention of doing so." Virgil smiled and pulled me up onto my feet. "In fact, let me show you something to prove it."

I nodded and the emo pulled me to his room, his hand warm and reassuring in my own. He walked me over to his desk and pulled out a few pages from under a folder. As he handed them over to me, his demeanour suddenly shifted and he seemed nervous.

I blinked to focus my damp eyes and looked through the pages in my hands. It was more poetry.

"I'm glad you're still writing." I glanced at him.

"Read them." He insisted and I nodded, looking back down at the words.

Being the quick reader I am, my eyes scanned down the verses and absorbed the emotions in them. Some words jumped out at me immediately: passion, warmth, security, happiness... love.

My face heated up and I looked back up at Virgil in front of me, who shifted awkwardly in his position, waiting for my reaction. I cleared my throat as I felt my heart melt.

"Virgil... these are love poems." I stated simply, not knowing what else to say.

"Yeah..."

"For me?"

"Of course they're for you, nerd." Virgil rolled his eyes and chuckled. "I've never loved anyone as much as you."

The tightening in my chest got stronger and I suddenly found myself unable to reply. Since words were failing me, I decided to show my appreciation in the only other way I could think of.

I set down the papers and pulled Virgil closer to me. He was about to say something, probably ask what I thought of the poems, but I cut him off by pressed a kiss to his lips. He tensed in surprise but smiled through it, kissing back immediately.

"I love them." I finally spoke when I pulled away.

"I love you." He replied with a smirk. "Remember that next time you spiral, ok?"

"I'll do my best." I smiled back and gave him another quick kiss. "I love you too."

"We should go eat that dinner. I'm starving." Virgil suddenly reminded me and I sighed.

"It's probably cold by now." I took his hand and we walked back to the kitchen.

"Nothing a microwave can't fix." He grinned and grabbed the plates of food.

I chuckled. "Fair enough."

As he walked past me with the plates, he sneaked another peck on my cheek and I blushed.

Maybe he was right. Maybe I won't be abandoned again. I hoped that with all my being.