Stay || Christopher Bang Chan

Part 12: Truth

Gee's POV:
Apparently I pushed him to the limit..
But he was right. I've experienced so many hardships that I barely trust anyone. I don't believe I deserve this, so I just blame them and say that they're acting and being sweet to me just because I'm a fan.
I hurt them. I hurt him. All because of my twisted mind and messed up life and the lack of self confidence.

"Channie.." I blurted out without planning what to say next. He looked at me with broken eyes, weak and so eager to consume me. "You're right. I built up walls and pushed you guys away because I don't think I deserve this, I don't think I deserve you.." I sighed before continuing "If there's anything I know for sure, even before I met you. I knew that you always did whatever YOU wanted to do. You're kind and your soul is so pure. You care about Stays as if they're a part of your family. Even if you don't know each and every one of them personally." I paused and searched for a reaction from him, anything. But I just got the same weak and defeated look.
"What I'm trying to say is; I am not ready to believe that I got the perfect guy that every girl on this planet wishes for falling for me. I'm not ready to believe that you feel the same way I do..." I looked down because I couldn't look at him. He must think I'm pathetic and basically with a huge baggage.
He said nothing for what seemed like forever before taking me in his embrace.

"I have fallen for you. I knew you would be oblivious to my feelings since you were oblivious of me waving at you the first day we met.." he said and laughed his oh so adorable laugh "But for now, let me believe for the both of us. Let me believe that I finally got the girl of my dreams standing in front of me, feeling the same way I do." He said then gently pressed his lips on mine.

It caught me off guard, my eyes widened at first but softened as I closed my eyes and let myself drift deeply into his soft lips. I felt his hands resting on the sides of my hips then slowly rising up causing me to shiver under his touch. His hands found their way to caress my face I felt his smile on my lips and caught a glimpse of it we broke the kiss to catch our breaths. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do this" I heard him say when I was fixating on his cute dimples next to his lips, I looked down blushing, I am pretty sure he felt my cheeks heating up in his hands because he laughed at my dazed look.

_____________

We were in front of the big closed doors. I could hear the guys laughing. I sweat that you can just tell that Bambam is being tortured by Jackson while everyone else is just laughing.
I looked up at Chan nervously, I didn't know how to face them, what to tell them, how to explain myself.. It's like he heard all of my concerns because he held my hand and placed his thumb on my wrist feeling my pulse for me "you're heart's racing now but it'll be okay once you let everything off of your chest. I'm right here with you" He said reassuring me making my heart beats relax under his gentle touch. "I'll even hold your hand like this if you want to" he said before pecking on my knuckles and winking at me. Stupid, handsome, flirtatious Channie.
I shook my head in disbelief. "How are you able to flirt when my nerves are about to burst out?" I giggled.
"It calmed you down, didn't it?" He had a point. I was calm enough to talk to the boys after the very rude lash out that happened before. They were all nothing but sweet to me and my ass was ungrateful and rude.
Oh well, here goes nothing..

We knocked on the door and Chan walked in first and I followed him in. The room fell into an awkward silence. I knew that this is my fault. "Gee. Listen what happened ear-.." I cut Mark off because if I didn't say what I had to say now. I wouldn't be able to say it later.
"Let me go first. I'm sorry to all of you about the irrational lash out that happened earlier. You guys were nothing but sweet to me and you were actually really thoughtful caring to know my birthday, and prepare such an amazing surprise." I paused pointing on the hoodie I'm wearing while making sure to eye every single one of those sweet boys in the room. "I just have some trust issues and I didn't want to believe that I actually befriended such awesome creatures as yourselves. Because  I was afraid that one day you'll all walk out on me, give up on this beautiful friendship and I didn't want to get hurt." I looked down a bit before continuing to say "But I hurt you guys instead. And I am truly sorry. You guys deserve better. So, as a form of gratitude\ apology, I suggest that we move this party to a club near the café and your first round is on me. That is, If you guys want to drink, of course"
There was a moment of silence before Jinyoung approached me with a blank face which I cannot lie, it scared the shit out of me.